Prelude To Comms
Getting back to normal life was difficult. Everything paled in
comparison to this new world that had opened up in front of me.
Since my third or fourth week of PPD school I had been dreaming
intuitively. It was the strangest kind of dreaming you could
imagine. In these dreams, my subconscious would create a traditional
dream where things would unfold in a typical disjointed dream-like
sequence, then mix it with my intuitive abilities which would be
grounded and very reality based. The IC part of my dreams would be
strangely realistic. I would wake up thinking I had just experienced
what I was dreaming of.
The dreams were so realistic that I was
constantly questioning whether I was actually awake while I was,
indeed, awake. The dreams subsided once I got back to my home base
and started my regular job up again. I was glad because I started to
question whether I was dreaming during the course of a regular day.
As you can imagine, it was disconcerting at best, frightening at
worst.
Things didn’t slow down much. Only a few months after I returned
from my school at NSA, I received relocation orders. I knew these
orders would take me to my first PPD related assignment. I wasn’t
disappointed. I was ready for a change.
As I prepared for the move to another base, it occurred to me that
things had been happening in my career up to this moment that all of
sudden made sense. For instance, when I came into the USAF in 1982,
I enlisted originally as a security policeman. While I was stationed
in Korea, in 1984-1985, I met a man who was in the electronic
intelligence career field. He spoke so highly of it, he convinced me
that it was the field to be in. I always remembered something he
said to me; he told me that I needed to put in for a cross train to
be an ELINT specialist because my life would change forever.
Well, I
absolutely hated being in the security police field, so several
years later when I was eligible to apply for cross-training into
another career field, I applied. I made it well known that if I
wasn’t approved for cross-training into the electronic intelligence
career field, I was going to get out of the Air Force altogether. At
the time, approvals for cross-training had been denied left and
right. As a matter-of-fact, cross-training was closed off to the
security police career field just days after I turned in my
paperwork. Everyone told me that my chances of receiving approval
would be close to nil.
About a month later, my paperwork came back approved and I had a
school date in February of 1990. Everyone was astonished and teased
me that I must have known someone to get the approval through.
Knowing what I know now, I have absolutely no doubt that it was part
of their master plan for me. My friend in Korea had planted the seed
and I followed through with it. I still wonder what they would have
done if I hadn’t applied for the cross-training and proceeded to get
out.
So I re-enlisted to give this new job a try. I went off to technical
training in San Angelo, Texas.
After technical school I was sent to Offutt AFB, in
Nebraska. While
stationed there, as my most recent 4 year enlistment drew to a
close, I made it known once again that I was going to get out. I had
told my co-workers that the only way I would entertain thoughts of
re-enlisting was if I received orders to Korea. I had already been
stationed in Korea twice and I desperately wanted to go back. A
month later, I had orders to Korea. At the time, I just looked at it
as good fortune. Of course, I know now, there was probably a more
involved process going on.
I never made it to Korea though, because it was only three or four
months later that I received orders to attend EA280 at
Fort Meade/NSA.
While I was going through PPD and ELINT school, I was told that my
orders to Korea had been canceled. Meanwhile, I had already
re-enlisted for another 6 years. (I re-enlisted for a full 6 years
because I was entitled to a larger bonus than if I had re-enlisted
for 4 years.) I was a bit upset by this new turn of events but I had
PPD on my mind at the time. I knew I would most likely be going
somewhere else soon anyway.
I see now that there was a lengthy history of people somewhere
pulling the strings of my career without me ever realizing it.
Amazing when I look back on it.
Back to Table of Contents
PPD Base #1
My new Operations Officer and First Sergeant met me at the airport.
It was a long flight with a tedious layover, but I was finally at my
new base. I arrived at night so the drive to the base from the
airport was very unfamiliar.
Foremost on my mind was the third party introduction. I was
perplexed as to how Captain White was going to notify me of my next PPD contact when he was thousands of miles away.
I was there almost a full month before my clearances arrived. During
this time, I was driving myself crazy trying to second guess what
might happen next.
After my clearances arrived, I went through the necessary briefings
and other things that were necessary for me to start my regular job.
Still no introductions.
I started to wonder if this was actually the place I would begin my
PPD duties when the introduction finally came.
I was awakened from sleep in my dorm room by someone banging on my
door. It was one of the other dorm residents. After establishing who
I was, he told me there was someone on the phone for me.
Our doors opened out onto an outdoor balcony, so I walked around the
balcony to the phone in the hallway on the other side of the dorm to
answer my call. On my way to the phone I was trying to figure out
who would be calling me since I didn’t know anyone on base yet and
no one from back home knew how to call me at the dorm. I had
concluded that it would probably be someone from my new work center
when I picked up the phone.
It was Captain White.
I wasn’t able to hide my surprise very well. I had just recently
convinced myself that I would, most likely, not be doing any PPD
work here.
In our brief conversation, Captain White told me to expect someone
from my new unit to approach me regarding “the program,” as he
referred to it in our conversation. I was waiting for him to tell me
the “code” word that I would need to listen for in order to identify
my new PPD contact or some other mysterious type of identifying
remark. He told me that I would receive a call at this same phone
after we ended our conversation and I was to stay at the phone to
answer it. This person would not be identifying himself on the
phone, but will tell me where and when to meet him.
That was it!
After the captain hung up I waited by the phone for my next call. It
came about 30 seconds later.
The ring startled me. I quickly picked up the receiver and said,
“Hello.”
I was asked if I was Sergeant Sherman. After I replied that I indeed
was, he said to meet him at the gate to the site in 30 minutes. He
would be standing in front of the gate with his arms crossed waiting
for me.
He hung up.
Manners surely weren’t mandatory in this program, I thought to
myself as I walked back to my room.
The site he was referring to was where my new unit was located. I
was assigned to a unit that conducted all their operations within a
fenced off compound, with its own security personnel and security
cameras. It had one security gate everyone entered and exited the
compound through, manned by security personnel.
I quickly changed clothes putting on my uniform, not knowing the
appropriate dress for the occasion. I didn’t want to take the chance
of doing something I wasn’t supposed to do.
The site was only a three or four minute bike ride from my dorm
room. As I was approaching, I could see my new PPD contact standing
in front of the gate to the site. I had already been introduced to
this person. When I met him for the first time, almost a month
prior, I had suspected that he may be my new PPD commander. I was
expecting a captain, and now my expectations were met.
I dismounted from my bike and parked it near the fence. My new
PPD
contact introduced himself.
It was Captain Stanley, the site operations officer. He was one of
the two unit personnel who picked me up at the airport almost a
month earlier.
After we had our identification checked and our security badges
swapped out for our on-site security badges, Captain Stanley led me
through the gate and down the sidewalk towards the operations
building. I knew little of what lay ahead but I was certainly
excited at the prospect of finding out.
The captain led me into the operations building which I had already
been in a few days earlier when my security clearances finally
arrived. We walked back to the conference room which was nestled in
the back of the small, main operations office. As we walked through
the main operations office, I could see filing cabinet type safes
lining almost every wall. All had magnetic signs hanging on the
front of them signifying whether the safe was “OPEN” or “CLOSED.”
Each filing cabinet had a built-in dial lock like the type normally
found on a heavy-duty safe. In essence, that’s what these were, only
in drawer form so as to allow for easy organization and storage of
classified materials.
I sat in the conference room with another new person to the unit. It
was Don Thomas, a friend with whom I was stationed at my last base.
He and I had received orders to this new base at the same time. I
wondered why he was here because I thought I would be receiving my
PPD briefing. It was obvious the briefing would have to wait.
I had no idea if Don, or anyone else, was part of PPD. At the time,
there was no question in my mind that I was the only IC capable
person on site. Of course, this was only an egotistical assumption
on my part. Later, I found I was the only one but I shouldn’t have
been so sure at the time.
Captain Stanley excused himself and went back into the operations
office and closed the door behind him. Don and I looked around the
room as we waited. The room was normal looking in every sense. I’m
not sure what I was expecting, but I looked around the room for
anything out of the ordinary. There were several posters hanging on
the wall, all with an Air Force theme. Amidst all the posters there
hung a solitary plaque. I was curious what the plaque said so I got
up to read it. It was from former President Reagan congratulating
our unit for outstanding performance.
The captain came back into the room, this time with several people
behind him. Don and I were introduced to Sergeant Larsen, our
new
supervisor and Non Commissioned Officer in Charge of the mission
that we would be working with during our tour at this base. The
captain excused himself once again as Don, my new supervisor, and I
talked. We began to discuss our past assignments, who we mutually
knew...etc. This small talk went on for about an hour.
I was getting anxious to find out more about PPD when Sergeant
Larsen started our indoctrination to the overall mission that Don
and I would be working with. He began the briefing by explaining the
onion effect. This was the same concept Captain White had explained
to me prior to starting PPD school, only this time Sergeant Larsen
stopped short of the “grey” mission.
It dawned on me that he was not
going to go any further because he was not part of PPD or, for that
matter, anything alien related. He didn’t even know the existence of
alien programs. It was a great feeling to know something he didn’t.
As he was explaining the classification level of the mission I would
be working with and how it related to other missions around the
globe, I remember thinking to myself, “Buddy, if you only knew what
I know.”
Of course, just like all things PPD related I had to keep
these types of comments to myself. It was unfortunate because I felt
I had such a great nugget of information, knowing aliens existed.
Sergeant Larsen had just finished our security briefing when
Captain
Stanley came back into the room.
“Sergeant Larsen. Go ahead and take
Sergeant Thomas around the site for a mini tour and I’ll go
ahead and take Sergeant Sherman.”
Don and Sergeant Larsen left the conference room. The captain
motioned for me to close the door. “This is it,” I said to
myself. “D-day has arrived.” I had waited for over 7 months,
from the time I left school to now, and the time was finally
here.
“As you probably know by now, Sergeant Sherman,” the captain
began, “You are here to do more than one job.”
“Yes, Sir,” I replied. I was so glad to find out more about the
actual duties, I was hanging on his every word.
“In a moment we’ll be going over to your new work center. I want
to familiarize you with the computer terminal you’ll be working
from. It’s the same terminal you will be documenting your IC comms on. Before we do that though, I’d like to mention a few
words on security. You do realize you’re not to speak of this
project to anyone at any time besides me, right?”
“Yes, Sir,” I replied again. I knew from what Captain White had
told me that I was not to speak to anyone unless I had a third
party introduction. Captain White had told me to speak to
Captain Stanley, and I presumed the next person I spoke to about
PPD would be introduced to me by one of them and so on.
“Great,” the captain went on. “Due to the nature of your regular
job here, you will not be able to access the van you’ll be
working in without being accompanied by another cleared person.
This presents a problem when you are documenting your comms as
you will soon see. The van you and a partner will be working in
is extremely cramped, therefore any documentation of comms you
take down will be susceptible to being seen by your partner.
Because of that, we have taken the necessary steps to make sure
that does not happen. You’ll see what I mean when we tour the
van. Do you have any questions before we do that?”
I knew exactly what he meant but evidently he didn’t know that I
knew. He was most likely talking about the blank reporting
screen. He was probably unaware that I was taught this in
school.
But I did have a question. “How am I to know when to start
communications with my alien contact?” I asked.
“Just for the record, Sergeant Sherman, never say that word.
It’s referred to as “grey.” Please get used to not referring to
it at all, but if it is unavoidable the word is “grey.” In
answer to your question though, I have no idea. You’re the
expert in that area, not me. You are the first IC that I have
ever worked with.”
This revelation was a bit shocking. “How long have you been in
the program, Sir?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound too
presumptuous or naive.
“That is unimportant, but suffice to say that not many people
have worked with the actual IC personnel. I don’t know if you
know this but you and the other IC capable personnel represent
the culmination of 30 some years of ‘wait-and-see.’ It’s been a
long time coming and is very exciting to the people involved.
You are part of the first wave of what will be a small but
steady stream of IC capable and trained personnel. For most of
us this is all new territory we’re charting so if it seems like
something isn’t as organized as you would expect it’s because
we’re flying blind sometimes. Let’s make our way to the van and
I’ll show you your new computer terminal.”
We made our way through the operations
office and out the double security doors. In order to enter the
operations building we were in, you had to enter a code into a
cipher lock to get through the first door. A cipher lock is a
sequence of numbers you must push, which are printed on a row of
numbered levers. After pushing the correct sequence of numbers, the
door buzzes telling you that you have approximately 5 seconds to
pull the door open.
The second door was a two foot thick vault door
with its own combination lock and a big wheel that required turning
like a bank vault door. Turning the wheel would slowly retract the
bolts that held the door in place. During normal duty hours this
vault door was open.
After duty hours, the vault door was secured
and alarmed with signs posted saying:
AUTHORIZED ENTRY ONLY
RESTRICTED AREA
WARNING
USE OF DEADLY FORCE AUTHORIZED
As we walked to the van where I would be working, I attempted to
take in some details of the site. We walked by the shredding room
where all the paper waste from the site was shredded with a machine
bigger than a car. Every scrap of paper from the site had to be
shredded in case something classified had, for example, been written
on the margins of a newspaper; or the ink imprint from a classified
document somehow transferred inadvertently to an unclassified piece
of paper.
All trash cans at the end of the day had to be physically
dumped out and gone through by a security monitor so that any paper
item was separated and thrown in the shred box. One incident that
happened to me after I had been there a few weeks effectively
demonstrated the tight security measures. I had punched holes in
some unclassified paper so that I could place it in a binder.
The tray attached to the bottom of the
hole punch needed emptying, so I took it out to the trash can
located outside the operations door and discarded them there. I came
back in and my supervisor immediately asked what had I just done.
Recognizing instantly that I had committed a security violation, I
told him that I had dumped the little paper circles from the hole
puncher in the outside trash.
I spent the next 2 hours in one of the
outside buildings with the trash can emptied out in front of me with
scotch tape wrapped around my hands (sticky part facing out) dabbing
at the paper dots until I had retrieved every one of them. When I
was finished, I had to get my supervisor to check it to make sure I
had retrieved every one, with no exception. This incident would
always stay with me and became the biggest lesson I ever learned
regarding the importance of adhering to proper security measures.
We walked up to the C-Van that I would
be working in. “C-Van” stood for “Communication Van” but was only a
military term used to describe this type of van, regardless of
whether it would actually be used for communications or not.
The site had several C-Vans with separate operations and missions.
All of them looked like a big metal box. None of them had any
wheels, resting on blocks instead. They’re designed to be
semi-portable and moved when necessary, but these particular ones
were set up for permanent operations. Each C-Van was approximately
15 feet long, 7 feet wide and 8 feet tall. The entrance of the one
we were approaching was at one end of the van. There was a
lever-like door handle about 12 inches long that was secured by a
heavy padlock.
The captain explained that the regular mission I would be working
with has certain hours and we were entering the van now during
non-duty hours, hence the van was locked. We went into a break room
located about 50 feet from the C-Van and used the phone to call the
front security gate to notify the security officer that we would be
entering the C-Van. In order to gain access to one of the C-Vans on
site you had to call the security gate and tell them you wanted
access to a particular “security zone.” After going through an
authentication process, you were given authorization to break the
security barrier. From that moment, you had 10 minutes to gain
access to the C-Van.
We went back out to the van. The captain opened the padlock by
dialing in the proper combination which changed every week as part
of the elaborate security measures. He opened the first door and we
stepped into a vestibule. He turned and closed the outer door. The
inner door could not be opened until the outer door was secured. He
quickly opened the inner door and stepped through. I could hear a
high pitched beeping noise.
The captain stepped over to where the
noise seemed to be coming from and punched a code into a small box
hanging on the wall, the face of which was a numerical pad. The LED
readout above the numerical pad was flashing a warning that there
had been a breach in the security zone corresponding with the zone
we had just entered. After he punched a numerical code into the box
it became silent and the LED readout went blank.
The van was awfully cramped. There was just enough room for two
people because of all the electronic equipment. As you entered the
inner door, directly in front of you was a chair that faced a
console to the right. To the left side of this chair was another
chair also facing to the right towards the console. The console
contained some of the same equipment I was already familiar with
from my last base and some that was unfamiliar to me.
The captain
sat in the furthest chair away from the entrance to the van, giving
me room to sit in the other seat closest to the door.
“Along with your normal duties which
you’ll be trained on in time, you will also be documenting your
comms here at this terminal.” The captain pointed to the
terminal directly in front of me. It was a computer monitor
almost as big as the one I used in PPD school.
“You will be assigned to the organization that sits what we call
‘right seat’ and you will have a partner that will sit ‘left
seat.’ In order to access this van you will always have to have
two people, you and your partner. We have a two person buddy
system because of the security requirements. You’ll learn more
about this later. However, this places a constraint on your
access to reporting comms in private. That is why your reporting
terminal will appear to be blank.”
The captain began to power up the
computer terminal which had been off when we entered the van.
With the computer booted up, he proceeded to show me how to access
the screen I would be reporting comms through. He clicked the right
mouse button and hit the F10 key at the same time. A screen came up
with several options, including “Staunch-118.” I remembered this
from school. My instructor told me that it would always show my code
name when opening a comms window.
The captain told me my password and
said, “If for some reason you feel it needs to be changed in the
future let me know and it’ll be changed.”
He typed in the password and a blank screen immediately
appeared. It had a black background and the cursor was not
visible. It looked exactly like the screen I learned on at
school.
“The screen is black to hide the information you’ll be typing
from anyone who may be looking on while you type.” The captain
went on. “It’s purely a security precaution. As soon as you’re
done with a comm, simply use the Alt/F10 combination. This will
exit you out of the comms window. If the window goes unused for
more than 1 minute, you’ll have to do the mouse/F10 combination
again. You’ll be able to continue where you left off at that
time. But if you Alt/F10 out of the window, the comm will be
sent. So if you start again, it’ll be a new comm.”
I asked where the comms went after I
reported them. No answer as usual. I had learned by now that
questions such as that one would be ignored because I didn’t have a
need-to-know. I knew they were processed by NSA, but I didn’t know
where and by what organization. Just like many of my other questions
surrounding PPD, they would go unanswered.
There was one question that was pertinent to my job so I asked it.
“Will I only receive comms during my
normal duty hours or will I have to come in during my off duty
hours?”
The captain replied, “Again, Sergeant Sherman, you’re the first
IC capable person I have worked with, so I can’t answer that
question. I can say that you will not be able to get into this
van without your crew partner because of the buddy system. So
that would tell me that you will be unable to do any comm
reporting until your shift starts. I would imagine you’ll have
to tell them to put it off until your shift. Cross that bridge
when you come to it.”
I thought it was odd that he didn’t know
as much as I would expect. Every time I talked with Captain White
and now Captain Stanley, I got the feeling they didn’t know quite
what was going on, but they knew enough to get through to me which
direction to take next. It was as if someone were telling them
things only five minutes before I got wind of it. It was quite
frustrating because I never really had total confidence in the
information I received, but had no other choice because they were my
only authority.
While we were in the van I started to ask about all of the other
equipment. The captain told me that I would learn about my other job
soon enough. His job was to brief me on my PPD duties and to make
sure I was clear on how to access my comm window and support my
IC
mission. All other duties would be trained and supported by the
on-site personnel.
We backed out of the C-Van in the same way we entered, only in
reverse, with all the security zones requiring re-establishing.
With all this new stuff to learn, I could tell I had some
interesting days ahead of me.
I started training for my normal duties the very next day. As was
typical Air Force style, vast amounts of information were being
shoved into my brain in a very short period of time. I was being
inundated with knowledge pertaining to my new job and at the same
time wondering when I was going to receive my first comm.
A week passed without receiving anything. I was beginning to wonder
if I had lost my abilities since I hadn’t practiced them for almost
9 months. Every time I passed Captain Stanley he would nod a silent
hello or give an audible one but nothing about PPD and what to
expect. I felt very isolated and out of the loop. Of course, this
would be a constant feeling and one that would never leave me as an
Intuitive Communicator.
I also began to worry why I hadn’t been told to take, or been given
any, pills like I was taking at the school. Before leaving my
training at NSA, Captain White had told me that I would not need the
pills anymore until I was told to start taking them later. Maybe
this was why I was not receiving any comms yet.
Regardless of the
reason, I was becoming anxious to use this ability I had worked so
hard to discover and strengthen.
Back to Table of Contents
Enter Spock
Time marched on and still no comms. Within six weeks of beginning my
training for my normal duties I was officially certified to operate
my station without the presence of my trainer. It wasn’t long after
that that I finally received my first operational comm.
I’m not sure if it was intentional or not, but I received my first
comm the night of my first shift as a newly certified crew member.
I got to the site a bit early since this was my first night without
someone supervising me. I wanted to make sure I did everything
correctly. My crew partner showed up and we authenticated properly
with security personnel in order to open the C-Van for the 12 hour
shift ahead of us. As we made our way into the C-Van, I had just
silenced the alarm box and started to power up my equipment when I
intuitively received the message, “prepare for information string.”
I was so startled I uttered some unintelligible noise, then followed
that with an audible “wait!” My crew partner asked me what he was to
wait for.
“Oh, sorry, just talking to myself,” I said automatically, not
wanting him to think I was crazy.
I wasn’t quite sure what to do about the impending comm since my
computer was not up and running yet. It took a certain amount of
time for the computer to boot and I had at least 2 or 3 minutes to
wait still. At the same time I had audibly said “wait”, I had also
sent back a comm saying “wait.” I realized this only after I
mentally replayed the situation later. I had never vocalized any
comm before. I never did it again either, but the comm took me by
such surprise that my auditory facilities were effected along with
my intuitive abilities.
I felt so out of sorts. Even though the act of intuitively
communicating was something I could do, the psychological
ramifications of realizing you’re communicating with a non-human
entity takes a little getting used to as you might imagine.
They seemed to have listened since I didn’t receive anything until
my computer was up. Waiting for my computer to boot was the absolute
longest 3 minutes of my entire life. I was about to have a two-way
communication with an alien. Up until this moment it had all been
motions I was going through because someone told me I had to. Now,
all the training, the nights laying in bed awake wondering what it
would be like to actually communicate, all of it was coming
together. It was actually happening. This wasn’t a spectator sport
anymore. I was the quarterback, receiver and the fan in the
bleacher, all rolled into one.
After the computer finished booting, I started to get butterflies in
my stomach and I began to wonder if my abilities were good enough to
do the job correctly. A hundred things were going through my mind
when I hit the right mouse button and the F10 key as I had been
instructed many times to do. After I opened the window and typed in
my password I intuitively sent a ready message and waited to receive
the first of what would be hundreds of comms.
I began to type in the blank window that I had just opened. My crew
member was doing his own tasks on his computer so I didn’t have to
be concerned about whether he was going to start asking questions. I
was thankful for that.
During this first assignment as a mission ready IC, my comms were
very uneventful and mundane. I had no idea the meaning of what I was
typing. After the first month of receiving comms, it became very
routine and no longer held the level of mystique to me that it did
during that first month.
A comm would begin with what I called the “preamble.” The preamble
consisted of the same sequence of numbers that differentiated very
little. I would always receive a three digit number first, which was
the number that identified me to whoever the information was going
to when I sent out my report. This number was 118. There would be
timed pauses between each phrase or expression. The pause was always
the same. I never got the stop watch out but the rhythm of it was
constant so it was evident it was the same all the time. The pause
was probably about 3 seconds. (Except for the pause between the
comm
that would tell me to “prepare for information string” and the time
the information string would begin. This pause would be as long as
it would take me to prepare to receive the comm.)
After the number “118” would be passed, another string of numbers
would usually follow. This string would be a 5 digit number that
varied but often was repeated in other messages. I called this the
zip code. (Because it had five digits, not because it related to a
location necessarily.)
After these eight numbers however, there was no rhyme or reason to
the comms most of the time. A sample comm at this point would have
looked similar to this:
118/67555/995500400043/47477899055/9400///
The comms would simply be a series of
numbers separated by a “/” character. This was the way I was taught
to separate comm sections while in school. Anytime there was a
pause, I would place the “/” character in between phrases. Sometimes
I could pick out obvious things like latitude and longitude. When I
first noticed lat/longs being communicated, I wanted to look them up
on a map but we didn’t have detailed maps in our C-Van and I was
terrified of writing anything down and taking it with me. I soon
lost motivation to look up the locations.
I got to the point, finally, of taking most things for granted. It
became a very boring task to receive these comms and type them in
this blank window. It certainly wasn’t very challenging and I lost
all interest in it simply because it was only a one way
communication for all intents and purposes. Once in awhile I would
send back a comm saying “repeat last phrase” or something like that.
But most of the time, it was a one-way street and not an exciting
job.
After some time had passed since that first comm, I took the liberty
of naming the grey contact I communicated with “Spock.” My best
friend had always been a big Star Trek fan and it seemed a befitting
name. It was also because I perceived a great deal of logical
structure in his communications.
It felt a bit sad to come up with
such a deliciously ironic name as Spock and have no opportunity to
share the humor of it with anyone.
My suspicions about the pills I had been taking at the
PPD school
proved justified midway through my tour at this new assignment.
Around April of 1993, about five months after I had arrived this new
base, Captain Stanley came into the C-Van while I was on duty and
asked my crew member to step out for a moment.
I began to get
nervous since the captain had not said one word to me in private
since our first PPD meeting. Was I doing something wrong in my
comms?
Were they correct? These were the types of questions running through
my mind as I waited for my crew partner to step out of the van.
The captain sat down in the seat vacated by my partner. He reached
into his pocket and brought out a shiny gray bottle.
“Sergeant Sherman, do you remember
taking some pills while you were at school?” the captain asked
as he placed the bottle on the counter in front of me.
“Yes, Sir. I took two tablets every day I attended school. I was
wondering if I was ever going to take them again.”
“Well, that’s what these are. We need you to start taking them
again until further notice.”
I started to get a little more bold in my questioning,
especially since I hadn’t had any questions answered for a long
time.
“What are they, Captain?” I asked.
“I actually have no idea, Sergeant Sherman. I’ve just been
instructed to have you start taking these again.”
Pushing further, I continued on, “Do you take them?”
“I can’t answer any questions about the pills, Sergeant Sherman.
I know you’re naturally curious, but I honestly cannot talk
about them anymore. Take two every shift. You’re to keep them in
your safe drawer here in the C-Van. I know you know better, but
I have to say it anyway: don’t try to take them from the site.
It’s important that you take them as instructed. I know this
sounds heavy handed but we’ll know if you haven’t taken even one
so please follow the instructions to the letter.”
With that, he left the van.
What in the world were in these things anyway? I never felt any
abnormal physical effects while taking them but I was curious what
they were and what effect they had on my abilities.
I was sitting there looking at them when my crew partner came back
into the van. I was beyond caring whether he asked any questions. At
that very moment I was very bitter at PPD and the world. It was the
same feeling I had felt in the past and would continue to feel. It
was as though I had no control over my own life. It seemed
everything I did was dictated by someone else. Of course, in the
military this was not uncommon. But this situation went deeper.
My partner did the obvious; he asked what the bottle was for. I told
him they were for headaches. As far as I was concerned at that
particular moment, that was the truth!
As he shrugged and turned to his computer I popped two of the pills
into my mouth and swallowed dryly. I had no choice. I had to bark
when the master said “speak.”
My tour at this base was quick as I was only there for about 11
months. But the end was the most exciting part.
About three months before I was to leave I had an unusual comm with
Spock. It started out like all the rest, with the normal preamble
and subsequent, mostly numerical information. Because all the comms
were from 30 seconds to 45 seconds long, I could tell the comm was
coming to a close when I suddenly “tripped” and stepped up in my
comm “level.” This is very difficult to describe, but the closest
analogy I can find is what happens when you take too much mouthpiece
into your mouth while playing a reed instrument. The beautiful sound
you may have been making a moment before is quite suddenly replaced
with a screeching sound. Although there is no sound associated with
comms, it’s the closest I can come to describing what happened.
Spock immediately picked up on my accidental mental leap and “met
me” on this other level. I was startled because I didn’t even know
this other level existed prior. Spock immediately asked if I had
intentionally changed planes.
(Note: I have no choice but to write
the contents of the comms with my alien contacts in a conversational
format, like two humans talking. The actual comms were much more
rich in texture and informational in content but in ways I am unable
to convey to the reader on paper.)
I answered “no” and told him that I didn’t even know this “plane”
existed.
I use the word “plane” in this explanation because I can’t think of
another alternative to how Spock referred to it. If
Spock and I had
been communicating vocally, I would have asked what was meant by
that “word.” When you intuitively communicate, though, the rules are
not the same. You understand things that otherwise make no sense in
linguistic terms.
Spock immediately signed off and I was left wondering what had just
happened. I knew from Spock’s response that this event was totally
unexpected not only by me but also by him.
That night in bed, I replayed in my mind what had happened. I was
trying to figure out what might have occurred differently that
precipitated this unusual turn of events. I had been getting much
better and quicker at interpreting the data. Did my proficiency have
anything to do with this moving to a higher plane? I was just
getting used to the intangible nature of my abilities and this hits
me from left field.
My next comm after the “higher-plane” event came two or three days
later. I gave the go-ahead and Spock sent the routine preamble and
continued with the comm. I was nervous, wondering if he would refer
to what had happened. I was somewhat concerned that it was perhaps
an unauthorized comm. Of course, I had no idea if there was even
such thing as an unauthorized comm. If there was, I was concerned I
had initiated one.
Nothing happened. The comm ended as usual and that was it. Now I
started to wonder why he hadn’t addressed it. I actually began to
wish he had so I could find out more about why it happened.
I thought about trying to do it again, but I was hesitant, still
unsure as to whether communicating on this other plane was something
I was supposed to be doing. But I knew that if Spock wasn’t going to
refer to it, sooner or later curiosity would get the better of me
and I would breach the subject on my own.
A few more comms went by without Spock referring to it. I was
getting impatient and my curiosity was becoming overwhelming.
It was two weeks after the plane changing event that I finally got
up enough nerve to try it again. I received the normal comm “prepare
for information string.” Conveniently, my partner had gone out of
the van to use the restroom. (Short lapses in security were
tolerated for such urgencies.) I sent back the go ahead and began to
type the incoming comm in the blank screen. I knew I had mere
seconds to decide whether I was going to try to change planes again.
I knew the comm was coming to an end so I started to gather up the
nerve. As soon as Spock had finished and I sensed he was terminating
comms I lunged forward with what I thought would duplicate what I
had done last time.
Nothing!
Spock was gone and I sat there wondering what had happened. It felt
different. It was definitely not the same feeling I got when it
happened last time. I figured I must have done it wrong or
something.
I sat there dumb-founded, trying to remember what had happened the
last time that may have been different. I couldn’t figure out how to
repeat it. I sat there thinking about it the rest of my shift. I
couldn’t get my mind off of it.
Thereafter, I kept trying to change planes each time I received a
comm but to no avail. I started to think that it was a simple fluke
and that I wouldn’t be able to repeat it when it finally happened
again.
It was about two months from when it happened originally when I
finally broke through again. Although I had been attempting to do it
at the close of every comm with Spock, I was finally successful. It
didn’t take me by surprise this time, either, because I was more in
tune with the mechanics of what was happening.
Spock immediately picked up on what I had just done. Again, he asked
if this was something I had done intentionally. This time I answered
“Yes.”
Spock replied that it was an interesting turn of events and that he
ignored it the first time because he felt it was an anomaly.
“Is this an unauthorized comm?” I
asked.
“There is no harm in communicating on this plane,” he said
nonchalantly.
I was surprised by how effortlessly he had said that. Here I had
been sweating out the fact that I might have been doing
something wrong and he acted as if it was no big deal.
“How come you are comm’ing so candidly on this plane and you
don’t during our normal comms?” I asked.
“You have never given me reason,” he replied.
I stopped to think about this. It was true. I hadn’t attempted
to ask any questions or to communicate anything except what
pertained to our regular comms. I had always assumed we were not
to discuss anything else.
My impression of Spock was one of being official, with no room
for emotion. Even as we now communicated on this other plane, I
still felt a sense of rigidity. Perhaps this was just how they
were.
Pressing forward with my curiosity, I asked whatever came to my
mind first. Since I was thinking of how formal Spock sounded I
continued with that line of thought. “Do you have feelings like
humans?” I asked bluntly.
“We are quite alike in our emotional makeup, 118,” he said,
referring to me as my PPD code number. “We react to our
surroundings, just as you do, but are much less impacted by what
we sense. In the absence of markedly increased stimuli, emotion
is not readily useful.”
Wow! I was constantly reminding myself I
was actually having a conversation, of sorts, with an alien species.
Up to this moment I hadn’t internalized the meaning of it. Until
now, I might as well have been receiving information from a computer
somewhere on the other side of world.
There was no meaning to it.
Now I was actually communicating in such a manner that we could
easily start talking about the Cowboys winning the Superbowl if we
wanted. It was quite a shift in perception for me.
A million questions came to my mind. I managed to pick one and throw
it out before I lost my new friend’s attention span.
“Why did you think it was
unintentional when I first comm’ed with you on this plane?”
“Until now, we thought it impossible for a water-human to
sustain communication on this plane. But we are continually
being surprised by other IC’s abilities as well.”
(“Water-human”
is the closest I can come to an accurate translation of how
Spock referred to humans. Other alternatives would be perhaps
“water-vessel” or “water-entity.”)
I realized by now that I had stopped typing our comms into my
reporting window as soon as we had jumped to this other plane. I
wasn’t sure if I was supposed to continue or not.
“Am I supposed to report our comms while on this other plane?” I
asked, wanting the answer to be “no” so I could concentrate on
what was being communicated.
To my surprise Spock said, “No, that is not necessary. Our
communications are only being monitored through your reports so
as to calculate an accuracy factor. Your communicating on this
plane was never anticipated and therefore will never be known
unless you discuss it with your chain of command.”
“Will anyone get upset if they find out I have communicated with
you on this other level?” I asked. I was still slightly paranoid
about what rule I might be breaking, if any.
“I am unaware of your people’s standards for this. However, we
are not adverse to communicating with water-humans on this
plane. It is interesting to us that we are able to communicate
with water-humans as it is, but communicating on this plane
creates even more interest.”
I sensed an underlying current of
scientific interest in our communications that I had previously only
sensed during our first few comms.
I was thinking of this when Spock broke through my thoughts and said
“comms will cease” and signed off.
Just like that.
I sat there, staring at my computer screen, thinking how amazing it
was that I had just carried on a conversation with an alien species.
I must have been in a daze because I had allowed my other job to go
by me unnoticed. My crew mate jolted me out of my deep thoughts.
“Are you okay, Dan?” my crew mate
asked, obviously noticing I was in a daze.
“I’m okay Brad, thanks,” I answered. “Just a bit tired, that’s
all.”
I went on with my duties, but I couldn’t
stop thinking about my latest comm. I kept replaying it in my mind
during the rest of the shift.
I stayed awake most of the morning after my shift had ended. I just
couldn’t go to sleep. There were so many questions that I had to
ask. Unfortunately, I was close to being relieved of duty in order
to leave for my next assignment. I was anxious for my next comm to
come so that I could get some answers to my other questions.
My next comm never came at PPD Base #1. I was relieved of duty two
weeks after that last comm. I felt so frustrated. I wasn’t sure
whether I would ever be communicating with Spock again. I didn’t
even know for sure whether or not I would be conducting PPD duties
at my next base. I assumed that I would still be communicating with
Spock if I did.
It turns out that my fears were unfounded. I never communicated with
Spock again, but my communications took on a whole new life at
PPD
Base #2.
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