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by Mateo Sol
July 2018
from
LonerWolf Website
Spanish version
If there is any advice I
would universally give to every person, regardless of who they are,
it is this:
walk your own path.
Walk your own damn path.
Don't walk someone
else's path.
Don't walk the path
your parents predestined for you just because you feel
emotionally indebted to them.
Don't walk a path
that appears to be yours, but is actually society's fabricated
ideal of who you 'should' be.
Don't walk a path
just because you fell into it and it's "good enough."
Don't walk a path
that you feel a sense of enslaved duty towards because it's what
you "need to be" doing according to dominant sociocultural
standards.
Walk your own path.
That means, CHOOSING
your own path in a very conscious way.
What is a Lone
Wolf?
A lone wolf is typically defined as a person (or animal) who prefers
to spend time alone rather than being in a group.
However, here lone wolf
refers to,
a person who has
listened to their calling and has left behind their old life,
thus rendering them alone or alienated from others.
We all possess an inner
wolf that thirsts for freedom, truth, and authenticity.
If we seek to live a
meaningful life, if we want to fulfill our destiny, it's our
job to listen to that inner wolf and embrace our sacred wild nature.
Why Most People are
Terrified of Walking Their Own Path
Although choosing your own path may initially sound very empowering,
there's a reason why most people prefer to follow the herd.
- Firstly,
walking your own path means that you might be REJECTED by
others. You might be gossiped about, thought of in disparaging
ways (e.g. as a "kook," "oddball," "idiot"), and outright
alienated or estranged from other people.
Sometimes those
people who reject you are those closest to you.
And what could be
more painful than losing a family member, friend or even
partner?
As a species, we are biologically programmed to seek approval
because acceptance equals survival. Inevitably, doing anything
that may cause us to be rejected sets off those deep, primal
alarm bells and raises the hairs on the back of our necks.
I would go so far as
saying that walking your own path guarantees that at some point
someone will look down on you and say,
"what on earth
are you doing, you imbecile?"
- The second
reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that
it's a hell of a lot of work.
No one is out there
giving you a map, a set of rules, or instructions that tell you
what to do. YOU have to be responsible for figuring it all out
from scratch.
It kind of feels like
stumbling through the dark in a room full of sharp objects.
You will make
mistakes.
You will fall
flat and land smack bang on your face.
You will feel
embarrassed, overwhelmed, and a lot of other uncomfortable
emotions that come with doing something completely radical.
And on a mental and
emotional level, most people see that.
Most people
understand, on some superficial level, the consequences and
therefore prefer the cozy, comfortable, and bland mediocrity of
society-prescribed living.
- The third reason why most people avoid walking their
own paths is that it's "too much" RESPONSIBILITY.
When you take your
path into your own hands, YOU are responsible.
There's no one to blame, point the finger at, whine about or
feel victimized by. You are the worker, boss, innovator, and
creator all-in-one.
Instead of someone
else holding all the cards, you hold all the cards, and it is
ultimately your problem if you wind up feeling shitty with what
you do. Most people can't handle that.
Most people like the
comfy confines of their cages because it makes them feel
justified about feeling like a "poor little" victim of life.
Instead of taking
self-responsibility, it's much easier to dump the burden onto
someone else's shoulders and feel self-righteously empowered
through blame.
- And last, but not least, the fourth reason why most
people avoid walking their own paths is that they don't know
where to start. Some don't even know that
there is another path, to begin with.
We seem to be raised
in cultures that tell us that there are a limited number of
paths, a.k.a. the paths that are taught by
the big money-making University and
College industries.
In school, we are
conditioned to believe that going to University is the only
path towards developing a legitimately "fulfilling" career path…
and that getting a properly certified career path somehow equals
happiness.
Very few of us are
even taught about other equally, if not fulfilling paths.
Spirituality isn't
even touched on in most cases. So when we do stumble upon the
possibility of taking a new path that goes against the grain, we
are not only intimidated but also invalidated by our social
conditioning.
Many people believe
that the only way to know you're walking a "proper" or valuable
is if you get the approval of social institutions (or shall I
say social marketplaces) in the form of degrees and PhDs.
The deep distrust we
are conditioned to develop in ourselves paralyzes our ability to
act.
So many of us never
make anything of our dreams - they just fester in the
back-corners of our minds.
The Many Weird
and Wonderful Benefits of Walking Your Own Path
So far we've focused only on the negative side of walking
your own path and being a lone wolf.
But what about the
breathtaking, exciting, blood-tingly-good benefits? When comparing
the negatives and positives side by side, let me tell you, the
negatives pale in comparison to what you can expect to experience.
Yes, being different and being a lone wolf walking your
own path can be uncomfortable, tiring, confusing, and alienating
at times - BUT there are so many rewards to reap from this
courageous way of living.
Some include:
You are free to
follow your true soul path
You can innovate and create to your heart's desire
You can connect with people who truly support and nourish you
(your soul group)
You can experience tremendous mental, emotional, and spiritual
growth
You can become the person you are destined to be
You can make a real difference in the life of others
You feel more ALIVE
Gratitude, excitement, and joy come more easily
Many unexpected doors open to you
You feel more vibrant and energized
You feel a sense of self-respect for courageously pursuing your
life purpose
You get to experience the thrill of exploring unknown territory
You can go to sleep at night feeling happy and content
Does walking your own
path always mean that you'll have to embrace being a lone wolf or
social outsider? No, not always...
Maybe your life purpose
really is to enter statistics into a data file in an office. Maybe
it's simply being an acceptable member of society. If you feel
empowered by that or like it's for a greater purpose, all the more
power to you.
But I would argue that
there's a difference between defensive complacency (e.g. "I don't
know what you're talking about, but I'm perfectly happy in this
path/job, thank you very much") and real fulfillment.
I would also argue that spiritually speaking, we are all required to
embrace the path of the lone wolf sooner or later...
The very way that society
is constructed demands that we must forcibly and intentionally take
a different route, especially after we've experienced a
spiritual awakening or
dark night of the soul.
At a certain point in our
lives, we look around at everything and everyone around us and
think,
"there's got to be
more."
This thirst for
something deeper and greater than material
pursuit is what initiates us onto the path of the lone wolf.
Why do I call it the
'path of the lone wolf'?
The reason why I call
it the lone wolf path is that it can initially be
a very lonely path.
We must be the ones
to reconnect with our inner courage, discernment, and wild
internal compass to walk the path well.
Without embodying the
inner strength, resilience, and intelligence represented by the
wolf, we can easily fall back into the shallow and mediocre life
lived by the billions of sheep out there.
How to Embrace
Being a Lone Wolf and Walk Your OWN Path
Walking your own path, on some level, always requires a conscious
choice in which you say,
"YES, this feels true
to me and what my soul really craves for."
Even if you accidentally
stumble onto that path, walking an authentic path always requires
some level of self-reflection.
At some point in your life journey, you will need to embrace being a
lone wolf.
You'll have to go at
it alone.
You'll have to go
against the grain, break free from the herd, ask the difficult
questions, and face the confronting truths which may alienate
you from others.
You will need to be
discerning, see through the bullshit, shrug off the haters, and
keep moving forward, even if you are tired of
fighting...
Being a lone wolf means
being a warrior...
It means standing up for
what you believe in and courageously walking into the wild unknown.
It's all worth it. I can assure you of that and I can keep asserting
it until I turn black and blue, but ultimately you must discover
this for yourself.
Don't take anything I say
as truth unless you have experienced it directly.
If you're drawn towards embracing your inner wolf and courageously
walking your own path, here are some helpful pointers:
1. Understand and
accept that there will be some backlash
Whether from your friends, family members, or society at large,
you will inevitably encounter naysayers.
At some point, you
will be met with cynics, killjoys, and sourpusses who seek to
bring you down to their level. The reason why they fight against
you is that in their minds you invalidate their way of
existence.
By courageously
forging your own path you are causing them to reflect on their
own lives and decisions.
If on some level,
they've realized that they've followed the crowd and made no
unique decisions of their own, they will feel a sense of
resentment which they'll project onto you.
Although it's not
nice to be on the receiving end of this, understand that the
issue lies with them, not you. Everyone walking a path with a
heart will experience social unease at some point - you're
certainly not alone in facing this problem.
Just keep moving
forward and remind yourself that it's no one's place to dictate
what your life should be like except you.
2. Ask yourself,
"What do I truly and deeply want?"
This is not a question you ask just once, this is a question you
continuously ask on your path, thousands of times over.
Keep bringing back
your focus on what you desire on the deepest level - not what
others want to project or dump onto you.
What do you feel
called to do?
What do you wish
to accomplish in your life?
What wild paths
are you afraid to take because they are so alien but that
you feel secretly drawn towards?
Our paths are not
static:
they are
constantly shifting, evolving, and changing.
By repeatedly asking
yourself this question, you will be able to reinvent yourself
over and over again.
Instead of getting
stuck in an old and stagnant way of living, you will be in tune
with your soul.
3. Question
everything
Being a lone wolf and walking your own path go hand-in-hand with
a sharp mind.
How are we to
discover what is our "stuff" vs. other's "stuff" if we can't
be discerning?
How can we learn
what is true and what is deceptive without the ability to
analyze?
Your mind is a
tool that needs to be sharpened.
Without having a
sharp mind, it's easy to fall into delusion, naivety, and
stumble into rabbit holes which lead to great confusion.
Without the
ability to use critical thought (and balance that with an
open heart), you can easily fall prey to emotional and
spiritual predators out there.
Your ability to be
discerning is your protective sword on your path.
I can't emphasize
enough how important it is to be discerning!
Don't let anyone convince you of anything until you have
experienced it yourself...
4. Love yourself
and be your own best friend
Embracing the path of the wolf and taking responsibility for
your life can be lonely.
If you are your own
worst enemy, your path will be a million times harder. But if
you can focus some of that energy on learning to love and accept
yourself exactly the way you are (warts and all), your path will
be a million times easier.
You are with yourself
24/7, you are the only person who has been there by your side
through everything…
Doesn't it make
sense to like who you are?
Doesn't it make
sense to enjoy spending time with yourself?
In my experience it
absolutely does...
Practicing
self-compassion and learning how to love yourself are the most
powerful tools and strengths you can possess. Ever...
5. Know thyself
Strive to learn a little bit more about yourself, your
strengths, and your weaknesses each and every day.
Self-discovery and self-understanding are tremendously important
facets of walking your own path.
As the wise master
Lao Tzu once wrote,
"He who knows
others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened."
Only when you can
come to deeply know yourself can you truly embrace who you are
and walk your path with confidence.
6. Feel the fear,
but act anyway
Walking the path of the wolf will inevitably confront you
with some scary and intimidating situations.
Even simply starting
the path into those mysterious woods is terrifying.
Following your heart and
listening to your calling is not as sunshine-and-roses as many
people make it out to be.
Often it requires
tremendous sacrifice and the ability to look fear straight in
the face without turning away. While I am not a perfect example,
I have learned as a rule that feeling the fear but acting
anyway is a good choice (in most cases).
Obviously, if you're
facing a life-threatening situation it would be better to pause
and probably face the opposite way, but if the fear you're
feeling is emotional or psychological be gentle with yourself
and keep pushing forward.
Hold your goal
in mind, reaffirm your worthiness and inner strength, and
keep going. Don't let anything or anyone try to bring you down.
And if you do fall down, keep picking yourself up, over and over
again.
Remember, you can do
anything, just do it afraid.
Have the courage to
be vulnerable...
7. Let your wild
nature guide you
You are both human and divine - accept this...
Embrace the wild and
non-rational part of you that serves as your inner compass.
Listen to your gut feelings and let your animal self be filled
with passion. You don't have to be tame or repressed any longer.
Walking your own path
and embracing the lone wolf side of you means that you finally
have freedom.
You have the freedom
to feel the wind in your hair, the sun on your face, and the
earth beneath your feet. Your life is your making. Your destiny
is in your hands.
Make sure that you
get out of your mind and into your body; into your heart, blood,
and bones… what are they telling you?
Honor the wisdom in
your instinctual nature. Honor the wild and raw passion
pulsating deep within. Harness this passion and let it guide and
motivate you.
There is no point
walking a path that you do not feel passionate about. Let the
wolf within you howl loudly and freely.
Remember that YOU are
both the traveler and the path all-in-one.
The compass you need for your path is always within. Be careful
of looking for it outside of yourself.
While others may be
able to shine a light on your path, ultimately the greatest
guiding light is your own Soul...
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