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by
Mateo Sol
January 09,
2021
from
LonerWolf
Website
In our society, we have a very two dimensional understanding of
maturity.
Most people define it
as an accumulation of experiences that come through the process
of aging.
But this isn't really
true...
The truth is that maturity has very little to do with our
external experiences, and everything to do with our inner
processing of the world.
Yes, you might have
experienced a lot of challenges and hardships in life, but,
if you weren't
present and aware of what was happening and the way in
which it could help you to learn and grow,
...all of your
experiences simply turned into moments where you
unconsciously and emotionally reacted, not maturing at all.
While we have no control over aging, we do play a part in our
ability to mature...
Maturity is something
that comes with conscious intent; something that evolves as we
become more aware.
It isn't how
"knowledgeable" or "smart" we are either, as knowledge is
a product of past fears, mental patterns, memories, reactions
and illusory concepts of the self.
Instead, true maturity is the state of being internally
free enough to respond consciously, to be
responsible enough to see the end result our thoughts, feelings
and actions and how they will affect ourselves, others and the
world at large.
Developing true
maturity impacts so many different areas of our lives.
Below I elaborate:
1. Maturity is
Courageous
Maturity involves inner freedom and freedom is the result of
having courage - the courage to think differently and behave
differently.
In a society that considers "maturity" as the pursuit of
careers, spouses, mortgages, children and materialism, it takes
immense courage to truly be mature and to pursue a path with
heart, reconnecting with our authentic selves.
2. Maturity
is Honest
Many people avoid the truth of who they really are,
by piling on
beliefs, labels and roles in their lives and clinging to
them.
However, the mature
person, in their lifelong pursuit of self-discovery comes to see
all the ways in which they deceive themselves into a false sense
of being.
Common examples of spiritual immaturity involve,
-
avoiding the
shadow elements of human nature
-
believing
that we have transcended our "lower selves"
-
are in touch
with our "higher selves" (as if our "lower selves"
aren't as equally part of our wholeness)
-
confusing the
fearful voices of our core wounds with our intuition
3. Maturity
is Loving
Most people's idea of love is to love only to receive love.
"I need you to
love me so I can love you back" is not a very mature way of
loving...
To be mature means
that,
you can love
someone unconditionally, even if they don't love you back
because your own self-love is more than enough...
The spiritually
mature person loves because the state of love expands their
limited sense of self and reconnects them with the divine.
They don't just love
to be reassured that they are lovable by another. And if the
other person is mature enough to love back the same way, the
love becomes even more powerful.
You'll often come across people that hold love as the highest
possible spiritual form, which it is.
But to experience
that love you must first have attained the personal
freedom and responsibility that is necessary to
unconditionally love.
4. Maturity
is Compassionate
Many religions will teach you to do "good" out of duty through
pity and sympathy (both include feeling sorry for another
because they are in a position inferiority to you), as opposed
to empathy when you can feel and understand their pain as
equals.
Many are
compassionate also out of the underlying stimulus and promise of
"rewards" in the afterlife.
However, this is
completely destructive and a perfect example of immaturity.
The spiritually mature person doesn't act from a place of
dutifully needing "to do good" which is tainted with all
kinds of unconscious desires such as self-gratification, power,
prestige and control.
To do any mature
charitable act, our motivation must come from a place of
inner peace and freedom...
5. Maturity
is Forgiving
Resenting other people is addictive.
It gives us a false
sense of power by believing that we are protecting ourselves
from getting hurt again, and we are on the "moral high ground."
It tricks us into an
unhealthy sense of self-importance:
"I'll never
forgive you. What you did to ME was UNFORGIVABLE..."
It is yet another way
in which our misery and self-pity make us happy.
True forgiveness, on the other hand, involves taking
responsibility for ourselves and making the decision to no
longer attempt to justify or attach ourselves to feelings of
hatred and anger.
We are aware enough
to know how damaging such heavy feelings are to us and the
quality of our lives.
6. Maturity
is Accepting
Maturity involves knowing what you can change and accept that
which you can't.
A person who
lives in a constant state of conflict with the world is one
who is enslaved to their own internal reactions.
They are not free
to respond.
I am often confronted by
people who ask me,
how I can be so at
peace with the state of affairs in the world, the injustice, the
chaos, the inequality that saddens them to the point of
depression or feeling like their sensitive natures don't belong
to this world...
This is closely tied with
the forgiveness I mentioned above.
I'm not OK with the
injustice of the world, but I don't resist it either. I'm aware
enough to realize that change can never, and has never, come from an
external system, but from an individual internal decision.
To be able to help
the collective maturity evolve I must first be able
to accept and acknowledge the mess that we are in without resisting
it and running away into my self-righteous ideals, without judging
it and condemning others so as to make them defensive and lose
receptivity to my message.
You can't cure the turmoil of the world when you're acting from a
place of inner turmoil.
The acceptance of
yourself and acceptance of others is like learning how to flow in a
stream without ending up like another solid pebble at the bottom of
the river.
***
The
spiritual awakening process of
maturity is the beginning of the journey of inner blossoming; it is
the beginning of the journey toward the fulfillment of your own
potential.
Coming to truly know that
potential means knowing that you require equal part sun as you do
soil in order to be grounded, but to dance in the wind as well...
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