by Bernhard Guenther
A big misconception on the spiritual path or any path that involves
sincere self-work is that problems and challenges in life will just
disappear at some point.
While inner work and
healing our wounds, trauma and shadow aspects definitely affect the
"outside" world and can create better circumstances and
relationships, it's not as simple as many New Age teachings convey
based on the distorted or over-simplified idea of the law of
In other words, being
confronted with many problems and challenges in one's life does not
necessarily imply an "undeveloped" inner life nor does external
success, and "smooth" circumstances necessarily imply that one is
more "advanced" internally and has healed everything and resolved
Many inter-related factors come into play based on everyone's
soul evolutionary journey:
too much and too
complex for the mind to understand.
The mind and ego always
look for reasons and justifications, dividing experiences into
"good" and "bad." Most often, if not all the time, we mistake
symptoms for causes.
The deeper impulses and
consequences of the universal law of cause and effect have been set
in motion eons and lifetimes ago and are not perceptible to the
A universal law is absolute and objective. It affects everyone,
regardless if they don't believe in it or are not aware of it.
It is beyond any
artificial man-made laws. We are not only dealing with childhood
trauma to varying degrees but past life traumas that are being
re-activated in the current life as well for us to face and heal.
That's also why the
western psychotherapeutic approach (while necessary and helpful to a
degree) is limited because it only looks for the cause/creation
point of a wound/trauma in your present life, most often in early
childhood, related to your parents and upbringing.
The Law of
Cause and Effect
Karma is the universal cosmic law
of compensation of cause and effect.
However, the concept of
Karma has been abused and distorted throughout the ages. When people
claim "This is just your Karma!", they oversimplify it in limited
black and white perception, often justifying abuse which can also
result in victim shaming.
Religion has also distorted this
concept and used it for social control which we see in the
sinner/saint and reward (heaven)/punishment (hell) dogma of
the Catholic Church or the hierarchal Indian Caste
From a bigger picture perspective, there is no such thing as "good"
or "bad" Karma, nor are there "negative" or "positive" experiences.
These are dualistic
judgments based on our very limited perception. From the level of
the Divine, there is no judgment and division, only Experience
according to unknown soul lessons each of us needs to go through and
The universe is
continuously striving towards harmony. In that sense, there is only
balance or imbalance in light of the evolution of consciousness
which manifests differently for each individual based on their
unique karmic lessons.
Everything we have ever
set in motion via action, thinking, agreements and beliefs in this
or past lives are coming back around at some point to experience our
own creation as part of the learning process in this 3D school
All complete esoteric
traditions have pointed out this absolute universal law of cause and
"Every Cause has
every Effect has
everything happens according to Law;
Chance is but a name for Law not recognized;
there are many planes of causation,
escapes the Law."
Nothing ever occurs by
chance or as a random occurrence.
Every single action or
effect has an underlying cause, and there are no exceptions to this
- ever. There is a higher divine order...
The seeming "chaos" in
the world or in our personal lives at times is based on ignorance of
universal laws and our limited monkey mind perception. The causes
are set up in the invisible/unseen or unknown to us and then
manifest in the visible as the effect.
In other words, the
inter-relationship between a specific cause and effect are never
truly clear to us in our very limited mental perception. Hence, we
all can easily mistake symptoms for causes.
That's also how we easily can misperceive or misjudge others.
Who are we to know
another person's soul lessons when we hardly, if at all, are aware
of our own self, soul lessons, and unconscious inner life? If we
cannot see ourselves clearly and don't know ourselves, how are we
supposed to know another person - truly?
All our perceptions are
subjective, filtered through our self-centered lens of projections
(for the most part) until we become more objective with ourselves
via esoteric inner work which cleanses our
The more we truly know
ourselves (not to be mistaken with the personality mask most people
identify with) via inner work, the better we can perceive others and
the clearer we also see the world and reality as it is.
This is a continuing
The process of awakening ties into the evolution of consciousness
and ultimately into soul individualization and the process of
The word "conscious(ness)"
refers to an individual sense of recognition of something within
or without oneself.
It comes from Latin
conscius: "knowing, aware," to be awake or awakened to an
inner realization of a truth.
It also relates to
conscience. The word "conscience," etymologically speaking,
means "to know together." It is derived from the Latin prefix
con: "together" and the Latin verb sciere: "to know;
Therefore the development
of the evolution of consciousness means "knowing more together,"
seeing things differently than previously known.
However, this is not
intellectual book-smart knowledge but relates to Gnosis, embodied
knowing, i.e., wisdom, accumulated over lifetimes via experience.
Hence the evolution of consciousness implies working/progressing
towards a higher state of awareness based on karmic soul lessons.
It implies to see the
world and oneself more and more objectively - to see the Universe as
it sees itself.
"Enlightenment" or to be
fully "awake" in the true esoteric meaning of the word is a state
when the Observer and the Observed have become One, and there is no
Separation but complete Unity, i.e., Union with the Divine
Art by Cameron Grey
The real purpose of karma is not to use it as a judgment or excuse
but to instill real embodied compassion for self and others in light
of the personal and collective suffering we all deal with. Besides
dealing with consequences of past incarnations (where we could have
been a different race and gender, and none of us were all just
"good" people) we are also dealing with ancestral/genetic trauma,
"inherited" by our family line.
We also "chose" our
parents and blood family based on the law of Karma.
For example, a relative young soul in its first incarnations may be
focused on the material side of life, having a comparable "easy"
upbringing and material riches all around (from an ego perspective).
It is not concerning
itself with higher knowledge because that is not what the soul is
meant to experience and it also cannot receive higher
knowledge/gnosis in this lifetime since it is not even internally
wired to activate the higher centers (yet).
This ties into the most
often very misunderstood topic of "Organic
Portals - Soulless Humans."
Living life exclusively
from the first three chakras, the challenges of the OP are more of
the mundane ego nature without deeper "soul struggle." But it can
also easily get tempted to indulge in the material world, abuse its
power and riches and hence create karma and suffering which will
eventually come back around in another life.
On the other side of the coin, someone born into very challenging
circumstances with early trauma and abuse, experiencing hardships
and severe suffering does not imply that this soul is less
In fact, the soul may be
very "advanced" and ready to experience these challenges as part of
the deeper soul growth (and consciously choose these circumstances
It's a chance to heal and
transmute deep-rooted karma and prepare itself to be of service,
i.e., the journey of the wounded healer: someone who has healed
him/herself and is then ready to be of service to others.
Then again, a young soul could obviously also have hardships, just
as an old soul can also experience more "smooth" circumstances. The
point is, we don't really know.
The universal law of
cause and effect spanning over lifetimes is beyond our little mind's
understanding and preferences.
The Tunnel of
Light Trap and Fringe Disinformation
This brings me to another topic I want to address which seems to
have become very popular in the "fringe" scene:
the idea that
reincarnation is a trap of the
alien hyperdimensional matrix to recycle souls to keep us
entrapped in the matrix, providing more "food"
for the hyperdimensional overlords.
It also ties into another
topic I see many people talking about:
tunnel of light trap."
According to that theory,
we should avoid going towards the Light after we die since it is a
trap that "recycles" us back into the matrix and keeps us
enslaved in the wheel of Samsara/Karma.
I've read about these concepts from various researchers/authors over
While I agree with much
of what these individuals talk about with regards to the
hyperdimensional matrix (and I
don't dismiss possible deceptions and traps in the "afterlife" as a
Readers of my work know
that I've written extensively about the hyperdimensional matrix
and false light deceptions over the years), I don't fully agree
with both the "tunnel of light trap" and "reincarnation is
As an obvious disclaimer,
what I share in my work is based on my current understanding,
research, insights, awareness, and (inner) experience. It's all a
continuing learning (or remembering) process for me (as it is for
all of us) based on where I'm at with regards to my level of Being.
However, the "tunnel of light trap" doesn't make sense to me on
multiple levels and I feel it's clever fringe disinformation coming
from the very source/control we try to free ourselves from.
This kind of idea also
appeals to the paranoid intellect in subconscious ways and can
result in a "mindfuck" (for lack of a better word) and ironically
can get oneself entrapped by the forces one wants to avoid/escape
I also see that this kind
of information is mostly spread and believed by people who don't
seem to be sincerely engaged in esoteric inner work towards
awakening/soul individualization and embodiment but are mostly
hooked on fringe sensationalizing information going overboard with
the rabbit hole of the hyperdimensional matrix.
It relates to what Neil Kramer called getting trapped in the
"second matrix" when the pursuit of head-centric information about
the matrix over-rides the necessary inner work to truly transcend
If someone is taking this
kind of unbalanced approach (when intellectual head-centric research
over-rides the necessary inner work and the embodiment process), the
mind can trick oneself and rationalize claims like the "tunnel of
In fact, this was also
the topic of one of our recent podcasts: "Spiritual
Integrity - The Importance of Both Inner and Outer Work."
It relates to something I wrote in "Timeline-Reality
Split, Frequency Vibration, and the Hidden Forces of Life":
waste a lot of time and energy going down the "rabbit hole",
getting hooked/addicted to external information and
"sensationalism" that has very little to do with "truth
In their attempt to
"figure things out", they can get lost in the "theory abyss",
especially if there is a personal lack of discernment, and Being
has not caught up with Knowledge.
Gathering intellectual information alone does not help you (nor
the world) in the long run, and most often results in
self-delusion because Understanding/Wisdom (embodied knowledge)
is lacking [as discussed in the triad of Knowledge - Being -
Another trap is to
focus on just one topic or area alone, for this can create a
tunnel vision of inflexibility (or even dogma, if one is very
attached to a certain view).
isn't intended to invalidate the many amazing renegades who have
done tremendous work in their particular field of expertise,
many of whom I have learned from myself.
I am simply pointing
out the importance of a holistic approach that addresses body,
mind, and spirit, which is more and more needed in this day and
To be clear, anyone who wants to awaken and seek truth needs to
step into the unknown and go down the "rabbit hole": to read,
study, learn (un-learn) to the best of their abilities, and
question everything they have been told and taught by official
This process is also
different for each of us, depending on our personal lessons and
Hence, it's not about
all of us becoming "scholars" and study/researching everything
there is to read/view, which would be ridiculous and impossible
However, if the process of intellectually gathering information
in the pursuit of truth is not matched with the necessary inner
work, the mind will trick you, and you will get lost in the
rabbit hole, as I've seen with many well-meaning "truth seekers"
I got stuck in this
'mind-minefield' at some point myself. I don't take myself out
of the equation because I learned the "hard" way. It happens
when we lose focus of the principal aim (emancipation) and get
distracted by curious fascination.
This is not meant to
denounce curiosity, but curiosity alone is not enough.
Knowledge acquired through study in the pursuit of truth is an
essential - but only temporary - stage of awakening. It helps us
to de-condition ourselves from social, cultural, and educational
programming (pushing through our own cognitive dissonance) while
we learn about critical thinking, logic and how to use the mind
properly as a "tool".
(higher Knowledge) cannot be perceived by the mind alone, nor
can it be intellectually understood. In order to receive and
anchor Gnosis, the vessel needs to be built via esoteric
self-work and embodiment.
In other words, our level of Being determines how much higher
Knowledge we can access via direct experience - tuning into
nature, the "universe", and the present moment in our daily
lives, where we are constantly being informed by spirit and the
vast living library of interconnectedness.
This Knowledge is
impossible to put into the limiting constructs of language.
You cannot access
Gnosis via reading alone, for it resides beyond our five-sensory
perception. This is also the gateway towards receiving and
experiencing Higher Love of the Divine, which is beyond the love
we experience (or "think/feel" it is) in the lower
separate-consciousness state of ego/personality identification.
We should be mindful not to forget the most important part of
seeking truth and its purpose:
to assist us in
our personal embodiment/self-work and collective "ascension"
process so as to align with Divine Will (via anchoring to
higher frequencies) in order to TRANSCEND the Matrix, and
not get caught in shadow dance/projection, or willfully
trying to "fight" it.
As embodied frequency
anchors, we have far more positive effects to offer to others
(and the Collective) than just sharing information and trying to
wake up others via intellectual discourse alone.
Again, it's all about
frequency and vibration.
The process of "Awakening" is not just about gathering
information and becoming a walking encyclopedia of how the world
Of course, having a
solid understanding of the Matrix Control System (in particular
the hyperdimensional Matrix) and how it operates is a key aspect
of the journey ("know thy enemy"), but when we get caught up in
trying to figure everything out intellectually, we'll hit a
wall, especially since we are subjected to manipulation that is
outside of our five sensory perception.
It is about making
the darkness conscious, NOT dwelling on it to the point that we
only see darkness in the world, thus getting stuck there.
This can also result in seeing "evil" and "conspiracies" where
there are none (as a result of shadow projection and paranoia),
and this will keep you trapped in the lower frequencies - which
is where the Matrix Control Systems wants your consciousness to
You can only
transcend it, you cannot transform it.
After all the
rabbit-holing you do, if you don't get stuck and lost, you will
ultimately face a mirror, looking straight at yourself - and
that is where the real work begins: with yourself.
Split, Frequency Vibration, and the Hidden Forces of Life"
The whole idea of
mentally imagining in your current life what to do after death ("Am
I gonna take a left or right turn after I'm dead to avoid the
light?") doesn't make sense if you look at it from a soul
evolutionary perspective; let alone that the mind can never truly
grasp the death experience.
The death process is a
highly individual process based on the individual's level of being
and soul integration as well it is based on HOW one is going to die
and what state of mind the person is in at the moment of death.
Even so-called NDE
(Near-Death-Experiences) cannot be taken as "objective" evidence
since it's "tuned" to that person's level of being who is
experiencing the NDE (even if there are similarities among various
In other words, it
doesn't necessarily apply to everyone.
All the people (as far as I'm aware) who talk about and promote the
"tunnel of light trap" and what happens after death miss the
essential factor mentioned above: the level of being and state of
soul integration/individualization which determines the death
experience and what happens after death.
The whole point of inner
esoteric work and consciously engaging on the path towards awakening
in this physical body is about soul individualization, working
through Karma and lessons from lifetime to lifetime.
Reincarnation has its
purpose from a higher soul evolutionary perspective and for that
reason, it is not a "trap", it's a tool/school.
The more embodied you
are (soul integration) - the more you are SINCERELY engaged in
the inner work to anchor the Divine (which implies working
through traumas/wounds/issues that we all have to varying
degrees) - the higher your Level of Being rises, the more Free
Will you actually gain/earn and the more awareness/consciousness
you will have - all of which will determine what you experience
In other words, by
working on yourself and anchoring the Divine (your true soul
essence) within you to raise your level of Being, you will "know"
where "to go" after death.
You make the "right
decision" based on where you are at in your soul evolution and
frequency resonance vibration. For example, people with a low level
of being and who are just starting to develop a soul (like Organic
Portals) re-incarnate mechanically for they don't have yet an
individualized soul to choose the next incarnation consciously.
On the opposite end of
the coin, there are highly developed souls who actually do not need
to come back into a body but they do it voluntarily with a mission
profile to be of service, yet they understand that by incarnating
they also run the risk at creating more karma which they need to
There are many levels of
in-between, uniquely tuned to each soul.
It's entirely self-defeating to "worry" about what to do after dying
to "avoid the light" or anything else. In a sense, all the esoteric
teachings are about growing/preparing the soul in a body in 3D
reality (since that's the density where most progress can be made
because of the law of duality and limitations) so the soul knows
where to go after death; until we are at a point of evolution where
we are able to transcend death itself.
So, personally speaking, I don't worry about anything about what
might happen after death. I don't project any thoughts into the
"future" about that, let alone any thoughts based on worry/fear.
What I am doing is my
best to be sincere in my own process in the NOW of everyday life, to
learn my lessons, heal wounds, trauma and gain more awareness with
surrender and aspiration towards the Divine, bringing the soul to
the front and not letting my ego-personality "run the show".
This process is actually
about facing death every single day and moment and not waiting for
it and then "deciding" what to do.
Contemplating and meditating on death is an excellent practice that
teaches us to use our lives wisely and consciously, and not waste
the opportunity that life gives us.
It is not about what to
do after death, but as Gurdjieff explained it in his exercise
Last Hour of Life", what we do in each moment.
When we realize that life
is impermanent, that we all will die and don't know when, we can use
that contemplation within each moment to realize that what is most
important is grounding/resting ourselves deeper and deeper into our
We cannot escape our karma (the consequences of our past based on
cause and effect), trauma, and wounds until we heal them and learn
our lessons, taking full self-responsibility for our specific karmic
situation (which is terrifying to the ego mind).
Much of what we
experience after death is not necessarily alien entities tormenting
or deceiving us, but our own (unconscious) traumas and pain
manifested as "entities":
"I am going to talk
about death. It is not something many people like to talk about.
Do you know why? There is a fear we all feel. They say it is
fear of the unknown.
I say it is fear of
the known, but not realized consciously. When we go through
life, the traumas we experience stay in us as painful knots, and
are tightened by the spirits of trauma. If we don't untie these
knots during our lives, we are going to have this done after our
It doesn't matter if
we believe in the afterlife or not.
One thing you need to believe is that, with death, the
experience of time changes radically. To enter death is, in a
way, to enter time itself, and there you'd better be ready.
There are many accounts of light and bliss, but this is only a
beginning. What comes afterward is also described, but it is
just not as well publicized.
spirits come next; they come to suck your blood and torture you
by all possible means, but they are your own spirits of Trauma.
They will torture you until you untie the knots in your memory
and become free.
Again, it doesn't
matter if you believe in the afterlife or not. I am talking
about the subjective psychological process of restructuring your
Would it make a big
difference for you to know that it all happens minutes after
death, even though you may personally experience it as ages of
Many of you think that this subject is far from your actual
interests. Many of you find yourselves attracted to magic,
thinking that, in it, you may find powers and insights that will
change your life once and forever.
Who would think about
death when there are so many exciting secrets that life can
share with us?
Well, people who are
close to real magic would think about death and what is beyond
it, because they know that most of life's secrets come from
mastering that space beyond death.
The only way to pass through their gates [after death] was to
look to them in their disguised faces and say, 'I know you. I
know your name.' You do this, then they have to let you through.
You fail, they tear your limbs apart, suck your blood, tear your
flesh. If you recognize their names, then are saved from a
second death, from annihilation, and your existence will
So what am I talking
Any guesses yet?
I expect that, at
this point in my lecture, you will recognize who I am talking
about. The spirits of trauma, of course, our psyches' creations,
our representations of hurts and suffering which we have,
accumulated, and which we didn't have a chance to heal.
The only thing I can tell you now is that we all have the space
inside of us where the healing work can be done and is being
done all the time for each of us - even though we are completely
unaware of it.
The purpose of my talk tonight is not only educational. It
serves to make some of the aspects of our work known to Western
culture. The reason is that the critical time has arrived.
I told you that the
unhealed traumatic experiences which gain status of their own
and become spirits of trauma continue their existence throughout
generations. If they are not healed, they build up, connect,
accelerate, enforce and support each other, and become
In traditional cultures, rituals of transition are very
important. Before going to another of life's stages, a person
must go through a deep initiation ritual, one that basically
cuts off all traumatic knots from the past and clears a path for
as you call it, has lost all its psychological rituals. It
doesn't have the means to clear its members of traumatic
Therefore, at some
point, these accumulate on the collective level and become very
This dangerous time
has come. It could become many times more dangerous now than in
previous times, when world wars were induced by the accumulated
spirits of traumas.
The purpose of my
visit is to tell you that there is a great danger for all the
people on the planet, but there are effective means to overcome
"Master of Lucid Dreams" by Olga Kharitidi, M.D
The higher your level of
Being (based on soul individualization/integration), the less you
are subjected to karma and the more free will you gain until you can
fully transcend the wheel of samsara, i.e. "transcend/escape the
matrix" - which is just a school, even though it seems like a
On that note, people who
firmly believe that this 3D existence is just a "prison" also fall
into the victim trap which keeps them entrapped in the "prison,"
By perceiving the world
this way, they may also fail to recognize and connect with the
immense beauty of life. I see the matrix control as a prison and
school at the same time, but no one is here against their "free
According to Universal
Law, an agreement and choice was made to be "in the matrix" at some
level in the "distant past" (even if done via deception/temptation
which is symbolized in "The Fall from Eden").
In the end, we are all
here to experience soul evolution and the greater evolution of
The Law of Agreement
The law of agreement is another universal law:
This is the law
hyperdimensional occult/alien forces
are using to manipulate into agreements of
entrapment which we could have made by "calling in
beings/angels/deities/forces" via rituals/ceremonies (in this
current life or past lives), getting tempted by our lower nature
(appealing to greed, lust, power).
They can also gain access
to the human vessel through,
abuse (including cannabis, psychedelics, and medicine
plants: once you enter another dimension forcefully via
drugs, you automatically give permission for the beings in
that dimension to potentially enter you),
...and various other
ways, as only with this law of agreement can they gain access to
The law of agreement ties
the law of free will, for they do
need our "free will" consent, even if it is based on unconscious
deception or our ignorance of not being aware of universal laws.
An agreement of entrapment is a deal/pact with the "devil" (negative
occult entities) and can be made consciously or unconsciously.
Sometimes these negative entities appear to disguise themselves as
"positive forces," appealing to the belief system of the person they
want to get the consent/permission from.
For example, to someone
conditioned with Catholic religious beliefs, they may appear as
To someone caught in the
New Age and the "space brothers are here to save us" deception, a
negative entity may appear as a Pleiadian, Blue Avian, etc.
It is like a legal
contract that can be active over multiple lifetimes until
revoked/canceled. It is symbolized in Vampire mythology when a
Vampire needs permission to enter the house of his/her victim.
All universe agreements
are valid in all dimensions, through time and space eternally.
All agreements can be
changed, only through the awareness of the universal laws of their
"To say that all
light is good is as if you said that all water is good - or even
that all clear or transparent water is good: it would not be
One must see what is
the nature of the light or where it comes from or what is in it,
before one can say that it is the true Light.
False lights exist
and misleading lustres, lower lights too that belong to the
being's inferior reaches. One must therefore be on one's guard
and distinguish; the true discrimination has to come by growth
of the psychic feeling and a purified mind and experience.
"Appearances" refers to the forms they take in order to rule the
world, forms often false and always incarnating falsehood,
themselves as divine powers, they mislead, give erring
suggestions and impulsions and pervert the inner life."
However, as I have
mentioned numerous times, the occult hostile forces have a teaching
function in light of the bigger picture of the evolution of
adverse forces have been given all sorts of devilish and
"negative "names through the world's spiritual history, as if
their sole aim were to damn the seeker and give decent people a
The reality is
somewhat different, for where is the devil if not in God?
If he is not in
God, then there is not much left in God, because this
world is evil enough, as are quite a few other worlds, so that
not much would remain that is pure, except perhaps for a
dimensionless and shadowless mathematical point.
In reality, as
experience shows, these disturbing forces have their place in
the universe; they are disturbing only at the scale of our
constricted momentary consciousness, and for a specific purpose.
Firstly, they always catch us with our defenses down - yet were
we firm and one-pointed, they could not shake us for a second.
In addition, if we
look into ourselves instead of whining and blaming the devil or
the world's wickedness, we find that each of these attacks has
exposed one of our many virtuous pretenses, or, as Mother says,
has pulled off the little coats we put on to avoid seeing.
Not only do the
little, or big, coats conceal our own weaknesses, they are
everywhere in the world, hiding its small deficiencies as well
as its Enormous conceit.
And if the perturbing forces yank the
coats a bit violently, it is not at random or with wanton
malice, but to open our eyes and compel us to a perfection we
might otherwise resist, because as soon as we have grasped hold
of a grain of truth or a wisp of ideal, we have the unfortunate
tendency to lock it up in an hermetic and impregnable
construction, and to refuse to budge from there."
More about this and
relating topics in my 8hr webinar 'Occult
Forces of Hyper-Dimensions - Entity Attachments and Interferences:
Discernment, Clearing and Protection.'
Understanding and applying the universal law of cause/effect and the
law of agreement implies taking full self-responsibility and not
getting stuck in victim/blame consciousness, which is the real trap
that can keep us trapped in the matrix over lifetimes and lifetimes.
Getting stuck in this
state leaves us disempowered, unable to complete and learn our
We then constantly
externalize our journey by blaming people, circumstances, aliens, or
entities; or we look for saviors outside ourselves (gurus, leaders,
politicians, deities, Jesus, aliens, etc.), getting trapped in the
Matrix savior program.
However, it's essential
to understand that not falling into the victim/blame trap includes
not blaming yourself either.
The mind will have some
trouble with that because it is always mentally analyzing and caught
in either/or - black/white dualistic thinking; always wants to blame
others or itself.
There is a state of being
(your true self) that rises above and beyond that space of blame and
can see the Truth: that there is no good/bad experience and no one
to blame either, as there are only lessons.
By "default" most people tend to blame others (people, situations,
entities, etc.) while other people tend to excessively blame
themselves for why they got themselves into a particular situation,
made mistakes, or attracted an entity via an unconscious trap of
The latter scenario of
blaming oneself excessively is partially based on how the Law of
Attraction has been distorted; where we can often find
victim-blaming behaviors in others who feel they have the spiritual
agency to tell other people that "they only attract what they are."
There is as well an
over-simplification and limitation of shadow work that is
common-place; and eventually, we find that not everything needs to
"integrated"; but some aspects needs to be REJECTED as NOT part of
one's true nature.
People who tend to be
very hard on themselves (lack of healthy self-love and boundaries)
can easily slip into the guilt and shame downward spiral which is a
very low and toxic frequency.
Karma in the
Body and The Law of Ascent and Descent
Karma is also stored in the body and needs to be released
through the body.
Karma in that context is
"unprocessed experience" going back lifetimes which gets
crystallized in the body, creating tension and restricting the flow
of life force. Thoughts and emotions set up in the past and present
affect the cycles of the future.
These events, thoughts,
and emotions can then become trapped in the body. We can see how
this "stuck" cyclic energy causes us to repeat life patterns as
traumas become trapped within their own
dimension of time.
Many issues we deal with
are traumas which are stuck in time (and have become crystalized
energy) which we relive in the present over and over (as reoccurring
"issues") - until we go back to the creation point and release the
As I mentioned before, a
lot of stuff we carry in our bodies is not just related to whatever
happened in childhood and this lifetime, but ALL of our ancient
memory (including past lives) are held on as unprocessed experiences
and are stored somewhere in the body.
Throughout the years, I've been able to release trapped emotions
stored in my body from past experiences through bodywork, yoga,
breath-work, and dance.
However, the most
effective way to dive deep into my body and process wounds and
trauma has been via somatic meditations.
This is a form of body
scanning by putting awareness on any tension held in the body. The
key in this process is not to analyze anything, nor judge or try to
change anything, In short, it's about getting out of the head and
tuning deeply into the body.
At first, it's not always
that easy because we have become so disconnected and desensitized
from our body. Usually, there are many layers of armor in the body
(defense mechanisms that have built up over time) to work through
before we can access the core emotion trapped in the body.
A few weeks ago, I went into such a process of releasing these
trapped emotions after I had a fall out with someone I thought was
my friend. I had found out that he has been passive-aggressively
attacking me on FB, and seeing him as a friend, I wished he had
talked to me directly about the issues he was having with me in
An issue like this may
seem not that big of a deal, and there are plenty of times that I
receive troll and hateful mail/comments and am not so affected.
However, in this
instance, something about this event triggered me deeply and I
became very reactive, much to my own surprise. I experienced a lot
of pain in my chest; with feelings of sadness, anger, and betrayal
arising from that space.
Laura helped me to process it
and suggested to practice a somatic meditation called "The Somatic
Descent" based on Reginald Ray's work and the esoteric
Tibetan Buddhist teachings.
It was a potent meditation that lasted for one hour. It helped me to
go out of my head and deeper into my body, opening the tightness and
restriction I felt in my chest.
Right after the
meditation, the "flood gates" opened up in the heart area and I
started to cry intensely, weeping in agony, feeling I had unearthed
a deep-rooted pain/trauma that went beyond the experience that held
the original "issue".
It felt like an ancient
and deeply embedded wound from a past life got released, which was
likely mostly stuck deep in my body before - beyond the layers of my
conscious mind. I haven't cried that intensely in years and it was a
good and necessary release.
My body also started
shaking involuntarily, which is a common symptom in somatic trauma
release therapy of trauma discharging from the body.
Besides my own trauma being triggered, I also could clearly sense
how the occult hostile forces augmented it, coming in from the
"outside" and intensified the experience.
It felt like they were
trying to keep me in a "reactive" fight/flight mode and keep me in
my head, feeding off of my detrimental thought projections and
However, the issue/wound that got triggered
within me had essentially nothing to do with this friend I was
By truly feeling into the
physical pain within my body (in this case, in my chest/heart
chakra), without projecting it externally (or getting caught up in
my mind and the story) I could release the pain of the experience.
There were different layers of armor and defenses held as tension
within my body that I had to pierce through until I was able to
feel/get into the core suppressed emotion/trauma.
In this space, I noticed
that there was no story attached to it; I didn't have any flashbacks
to a particular past life, but I knew and felt deep in my being that
this had nothing to do with an old childhood wound or had anything
related to this current incarnation.
The emotional release of
processing it somatically through the body is more important than
"knowing the story." In other words, you can heal anything through
the body without needing to know "what happened".
Many people can actually
get too attached to their story, which prevents them from truly
healing and letting go.
Our own unconscious wounds and traumas are precisely what the
hostile forces target in us; luring us into acting out and thus
recreating that traumatic pattern by externalizing or internalizing
the suffering by blaming others or ourselves.
This is the suffering
upon suffering that through our own unconscious wounds we perpetuate
("mechanical suffering" according to Gurdjieff), and is exactly
"loosh" and energy that they feed upon.
consciousness is about staying in the body and feeling every
experience; allowing that feeling to go on a journey within our own
body and not letting the mind interfere by acting out or suppressing
that feeling ("conscious suffering").
almost always precludes conscious awareness.
On the other hand,
restraint and containment of expressive impulse allows us to
become aware of our underlying postural attitude. Therefore it
is the restraint that brings a feeling into conscious awareness.
Change only occurs
when there is mindfulness and mindfulness only occurs when there
is bodily feeling (what's happening in my body?). The uncoupling
of sensation from image and thought is what diffuses the highly
charged emotions and allows them to transform fluidly into
sensation- based gradations of feelings.
This is not at all
the same as suppressing or repressing them."
Levine, In An Unspoken Voice
This process is
definitely easier said than done, and I had a hard time getting out
of my head as the thought injections/loops triggered more emotions
(anxiety/anger) for them to feed off of.
The somatic meditation I
engaged in and praying to the Divine (not "calling anything in" and
not to be confused with the religious dogma of an external "god")
with sincere aspiration helped tremendously in resolving these
thought loops and releasing the pain.
I also received a clear
sign that the Divine/Spirit was present, but I still had to learn
the lesson myself by processing the entry point internally. It was
emotionally extremely painful, and there were moments of terror and
torment and a feeling like I was in hell.
I even received suicidal
thought injections coming in, which I was able to reject.
After going through this process resulting in the somatic release I
came through the other side and experienced a new/higher state of
I can only describe it as body, mind, and spirit fully
synchronized, no internal division and no thoughts but being fully
in the present moment with clarity and heightened awareness.
I felt light, focused and
joy in my heart. It was not an overwhelming feeling of bliss but an
embodied grounded state of love in touch with what seemed to be my
divine nature, my true self. I felt naturally inspired, light, and
It was like a huge weight
got lifted off my heart.
At that moment I also
realized how often we get used to our discomfort and wounds we
carry, having "forgotten" how it feels when body, mind, and spirit
are fully aligned and synchronized within us.
This was also a humbling moment for me, experiencing another
universal law: the law of ascent and descent. The misconception of
many New Age and pop-spiritual teaching is that the "ascension" or
"awakening" process is a straight road up to ever more bliss and
That's why many people
get hooked on peak experiences and can create what is called in
esoteric science, a false foundation, resulting in faux
These deceptive peak
experiences can be installed via
psychedelics/medicine plants or
even with certain meditation techniques, resulting in dissociation
which can create an artificial "bliss" experience by going out of
In fact, if you meditate
"correctly" and you are able to dive deep into your body, dissolving
all the tension, armor and defenses you are holding on to
unconsciously, it will bring you your wounds and pain which can be
But it's only in this
state of discomfort where real healing happens, facing your fears
You can only truly rise into higher levels of being as deep as you
are willing (or able) to go into the shadow and darkness of
yourself, revealing all trauma and wounds that have accumulated over
That is the law of ascent
and descent. The path towards awakening spirals up, down, in, out,
back, and forth; expanding on all levels and bringing up everything.
Anything that is asleep
within us (unconscious) will be put under the spotlight of Truth.
can reach heaven
who has not
passed through hell."
Throughout my life, I noticed that the deeper and lower I fell and
was able to work through and transmute the suffering, wounds, and
trauma, the higher I was able to rise; the descent and ascent at the
I also realized how
little control I that who I "think" I am actually had over this
The suffering also
initiated a deep longing within me to (re)unite with the Divine, the
only true source of Light, Joy, and Love (in the true meaning of
these words beyond the New Age distortions). It also created more
embodied compassion, love, and kindness for myself and others.
In other words - pure
I also realized that the
more sincerely I aspired towards the Divine - my true self - and
engaged in the necessary inner work to anchor the higher frequencies
of soul-individualization (embodiment), the more my lower nature
resisted (and in fact, the Light(Divine) shined a merciless light
into the darkest corners of my psyche/Being, bringing all up that
needs to rise and be transmuted).
At the same time, the
less I am/was able to lie to myself, engage in spiritual bypassing
or rationalize it all away, but the more I took responsibility for
everything in my life.
In our podcast episode "The
Ascent and Descent - Suffering as a Catalyst for Awakening",
Laura and I talk in more depth about the law of ascent and
descent, the role of suffering in light of the process of
awakening, its teaching function, and how to catalyze suffering into
How to Measure
Regardless of what is occurring in one's outer life, the TRUE
measure of how developed one's soul is how integrated and embodied
we are, and this is mirrored to us by how we REACT to
ordinary every-day circumstances, by our emotional reactions (or
suppression) and how easily we get triggered and thus blame others
and external conditions.
The point of esoteric, spiritual and psychological, and somatic work
is not about eliminating challenges (even though they might be
alleviated to some degree), but rather how we change, transmute and
transform by facing life and reality directly:
objective with ourselves and the world.
This is also the gateway
to real Love.
Childish and immature
love is conditional and demands attention and validation from
others. If it doesn't get what it wants, it blames others for it, or
it blames itself for not "being good enough," getting stuck in
self-pity, guilt, and shame.
Mature love is unconditional, takes
self-responsibility, and loves even if it doesn't get what it wants
or prefers. We all have the immature child within us, acting out at
If we can spot it, it's a
chance to heal this wounded child, which can also relate to past
life trauma and not necessarily related to your current childhood in
your present lifetime.
It's important we create
a safe container for this child to experience, express, and feel
emotions of sadness, rejection, fear, anger, abandonment, shame,
etc. without projecting it externally.
This process can only
happen somatically - through the body.
You cannot think yourself
through it as this only results in more self-deception. The
intellectual recognition of your "issues" is not enough and is only
the very beginning of a much deeper emotional and somatic inner
Therefore, you can gauge your own progress change by witnessing
changes in your reactions to the troubles and difficulties you face.
Life keeps going onwards
and keeps expanding, handing us challenges according to the law of
ascent and descent, lessons which are different to each of us. It's
part of choosing this 3D experience of duality and essentially not
getting attached to either "positive" or "negative" experiences,
going beyond hope and fear, thirst and grasping, pleasure and pain.
The more you are embodied
and integrated on a soul level, the more these challenges in life
will no longer have the power to throw you off, upset you, make you
stressed out, fearful, worried, etc., and the better you are able to
process what comes up in the moment.
Your only yardstick for progress is your reaction to anything that
is happening in your life.
This relates to the
"to be in this world
but not of it".
This state of being
doesn't imply that there won't be any challenges anymore, but that
you know how to respond to them and recognize their teaching
It's like becoming like
water and adapting to wherever the river of life is taking you while
staying grounded in yourself and your inner guidance rooted in the
It also relates to
staying in zero-point non-reactive consciousness. However, we can
also deceive ourselves to be in zero-point non-reactive
consciousness and get stuck in surface pseudo-calmness and fake
For instance, people who
are very head-centric and disconnected from their bodies and inner
somatic experiences may not react emotionally to challenges
externally and keep a "poker face" by dissociating, while the real
emotional reaction gets suppressed in the unconscious and
This is a mechanical reaction which can be the result of lifetimes
of suppression or severe trauma in the past. Or, you may feel the
friction internally, but deny the feelings and emotions coming up
(or judge them as "bad") and hence suppress them even more.
Many people then keep up
a superficial mask of "calmness" which results in more armor and
tightness in the body where suppressed emotions are stored.
The fear of feeling
emotions is worse than actually feeling them.
This can result in living
an inauthentic life externally while your inner experience gets
suppressed and shoved into the unconscious, creating merely a buffer
and band-aid, giving the illusion of "happiness" on a superficial
level which will create more pain in the long run.
In fact, most people in the world live in this disembodied state,
having become desensitized from life and themselves. In other words,
they are suffering, but don't know that they are suffering because
they are shut down emotionally.
That's also why
compassion and empathy are so
important towards ourselves and others (not just intellectually but
genuinely feeling it) while not falling into blind/idiot compassion
when boundaries need to be made.
Everything you have
suppressed within emotionally will need to be felt and transmuted at
some point, be it in this lifetime or the next ones...
The only way out is in,
and through. This process also depends on the "ripeness" of the
soul/psyche and when it is ready to "go there." The more sincere you
are with yourself and your inner work the more you can "accelerate"
the process of your soul evolution.
However, no steps can be
skipped, and there are no short cuts.
I leave you with this excerpt from a lecture by Eva Pirrakos:
"There still exist
many defenses against the full experience of accumulated
feelings in you.
Keeping this in mind
will help you to focus your attention and awareness upon these
defenses to overcome them more and more. You can systematically
lower the threshold of defending against your deep accumulated
experiences which have become poisonous from not being released.
experiences cannot be released if they are not felt, known,
expressed, and lived through as fully as possible.
When feelings stagnate, energy stagnates; and if energy
stagnates, you cannot move. As you know, feelings are moving
energy currents. They transform constantly from one set or type
of feeling into another, as long as the energy flows freely.
feelings stops the movement of those currents and therefore
stops the living energy. The stagnation of energy currents traps
not only feelings but concepts as well. You generalize from
single occurrences and hold on to the resulting false beliefs.
It is rare that stagnant feelings do not also include stagnant
conceptualizations of life.
These may exist in
the deepest recesses of the soul, totally hidden from
Over and over again you are entrapped in the cycle of
reproducing the past in one way or another until you can summon
the courage to choose to live through now what was not lived
through before because of your defenses.
You cannot come out
of these repetitive cycles, no matter how good your intentions
are and how much effort you use in other ways as a substitute
for experiencing your feelings, unless you really fully
re-experience your earlier feelings.
You must cross the
barrier behind which you still harbor deep feelings so tucked
away that you are not at all aware of them.
And for that reason
you can still delude yourself that unhappiness and bad moods
just befall you out of nowhere, or that you have bad luck.
The human predicament is the dualistic split, which is nothing
but a delusion of perception. This delusion has many facets, one
facet being a split in the human consciousness itself.
Human beings may feel
one thing, believe another, and act without knowing how both
these functions govern them.
Lack of awareness of
what you feel and what you really believe creates another
manifestation of the split. When you unify knowing and
feeling, you work toward mending and integration, which
manifests as a wonderful new awakening and sense of wholeness.
When feelings are not experienced in their full intensity, the
inner life flow must become stagnant. People will find
themselves inexplicably paralyzed.
Their actions will
become ineffectual; life will seem to obstruct all their goals
and desires. They find closed doors to realizing their talents,
their needs, their selves. So-called laziness may be one
manifestation of this paralysis.
A lack of creativity
or a feeling of general despair may be another. In this latter
instance, people may often use a current event or difficulty to
explain away their inner state.
The truth is that a
sense of futility and confusion about life and your role in it
must envelop you when you resist living through the feelings you
harbor; you go on harboring them because you delude yourself
that avoiding the feelings will hurt you less than exposing
There are many other
The total experience of a feeling is as available as your
willingness and readiness to venture into it. These feelings are
often accumulations of centuries and millennia - not just
Each life incarnation
presents the task of cleansing yourself by experiencing and
You are purified when
there is no more waste material. After you terminate this life
cycle, the conditions, circumstances, and environment of your
next life into which you are drawn by an inexorable law of
life will afford you the opportunity to bring to the fore
any previously accumulated waste material.
But memory of
previous incarnations is blotted out, so that you have only this
life's past experiences to draw on.
The dimming of memory is a byproduct of the life/death cycle in
which everyone is caught who denies feeling experience. When you
go on denying awareness and refusing to feel the experience of
what you have lived through in this very life, you perpetuate
the process of dimming memory.
Thus you perpetuate
the cycle of dying and being born, and this process always
manifests as a break in the continuity of awareness.
eliminate this discontinuity of awareness, and with it the
entire cycle of dying and being born, by living through whatever
has accumulated from this life wherever it is possible to
re-establish the links of memory.
If all the feelings
of this lifetime are fully experienced, all residual matter of
previous lives will automatically be dealt with because the
trauma of the now is only a trauma because the previous pains
had been denied.
Fighting your feelings and defending against them creates a
whole extra layer of experience that is alienated from your core
and therefore artificial and more painful than the original
experience it fights against.
Stating in your meditation your intent and wish to experience
all accumulated feelings and rid yourself of waste is the best
and most effective beginning. Through this meditational
approach, energy is released that can be directed to this
You often persuade
yourself that you lack the energy and the time to go into the
depths of your feelings. At the same time you spend a lot of
energy on other activities which may well seem more important at
No matter how vitally
important the other activities are, they can never be more
important than this exploration, for attending to this life task
is your true reason for living. In addition, it is the key to
productive living for you right now.
Your spiritual self with all its joy, safety and peace is right
behind the sadness and pain. It cannot be activated by a direct
act of will, nor by practices and actions that leave out the
necessity to experience all your feelings.
But your spiritual
center does manifest inexorably as a byproduct, the result of
the direct act of will to go through your denied feelings.
Through these gateways you will find true life.
All the many
temptations that beckon you to follow paths which imply that it
is possible to find the spiritual reality of yourself without
going through these gateways are wishful thinking. There is no
way around what has accumulated in you and has poisoned your
whole system - your spiritual, your psychological, and often
also your physical system.
This poison can be
eliminated only by feeling what you hoped you could avoid
feeling. Then a new energy influx comes in ever greater measure.
Many of you have
experienced to some degree what I am saying here, and therein
lies your growth. But you all have to go further in this regard.
for hatred and spite, for cruelty and greed, for selfishness and
one-sided demands upon others must be released so you can go
into the terror of your fear, your shame, your pain.
When you stop
fighting this, you will become real, open, and truly alive."
Your Fears - Importance of Experiencing All Feelings"
by Eva Pirrakos