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by
Aletheia Luna
June 10,
2023
from
LonerWolf Website
Italian version
You feel suffocated and weighed down by some kind of invisible
force.
And you don't really know why, but this force is relentless... No
matter what you do, you carry this knotted heaviness inside
everywhere you go.
Nothing feels right anymore...
You look at your life
and marvel at how it doesn't feel like 'yours' at all.
You desperately want
to escape, you badly want to do something... but you're
terrified of destroying everything you've built so far.
You just can't seem to move.
You feel paralyzed...
All of us will feel
trapped at some point, whether that be in a job, house,
neighborhood, financial circumstance, religion, family, or
relationship.
Usually, feeling trapped can be easily remedied by simply doing
something new - but it's not always that easy.
When feeling trapped
becomes a persistent problem, one that makes you feel hopeless, then
it's time to take a serious look at your life.
5 Reasons Why
You're Feeling Trapped
Feeling trapped and defeated are experiences common to people who
face anxiety and depression, according to psychological research.
In other words, feeling
trapped can create anxiety and depression, which further reinforces
the feeling of being trapped. And so the cycle continues.
But the question is,
Why do we feel
trapped in the first place?
Anxiety and
depression may trigger this experience, and also be the
byproduct of it, but what actually creates the anxiety and
depression?
Here are some common
psychological and spiritual reasons why you might be feeling
trapped:
1.
You were conditioned to be passive
Passivity is often,
a learned
behavior that we're taught in childhood by our parents,
teachers, and societies...
For example, being
headstrong is generally a trait that is discouraged in society
because it makes you less governable, meaning that others have
less influence over you.
As such, in childhood, many of us were taught to be
submissive, compliant, and docile
because these traits made us "good members" of a society that
revolves around control and power.
As young people,
how many of us
felt empowered and encouraged to take a proactive approach
to our life, and to be and do whatever we desired, even if
that went against "the norm"?
Of course, most
people pay lip service to this "empowerment" ideal (such as our
teachers and even parents), but only within the confines of
doing socially acceptable things like going to university,
chasing after money and status, and getting married and having
kids.
On one hand we're
encouraged to be "proactive" about our lives.
On the other
hand, this "proactivity" is a disguised form of passivity
which is all about following the crowd and doing what
everyone else does.
Is it really any
wonder that so many of us struggle with feeling trapped?
Unless we have the
wisdom to see through the futile and unfulfilling pursuits of
society from a young age, we end up following the herd and
letting others dictate our lives.
Passivity is, therefore, a major cause of feeling trapped
and stuck in a life that seems empty.
When we're
passive, we're literally giving others the permission to
make our decisions and dictate our existence on this earth.
When we're
passive, we're resigned to accepting our "lot" in life,
without realizing that it is actually in our hands to create
a life of our own choosing.
If you have just
realized that you've taken a passive approach to life, don't
worry.
Most people on this planet have.
It's not that you
choose to be passive, it's that you're psychologically
programmed and conditioned to be this way...
But with this new
knowledge, you can pull off the blindfold and start consciously
being proactive and self-sovereign with your life again.
2.
You've simply outgrown your current life
Here's the thing, people are not static beings.
As human beings,
we are forever changing, evolving and
transforming...
Anything that does
not change, dies, as we can quite clearly see in the world
around us.
When species,
ecosystems, and even business and trends don't evolve, they
fade away into oblivion...
This natural law is
evolution in process.
And the same goes for us as people:
we are changing
each and every day.
We might not be
consciously aware of it (because we're usually evolving in
minuscule ways), but we are not the exact same person as we were
this time yesterday.
Ask yourself,
"Am I the exact
same person as I was a year ago...?"
Likely, your answer
will be no, you've changed...! And this is
completely fine...!
Feeling trapped is therefore often a product of simply
outgrowing your current life.
Perhaps you don't
have much in common with your friends anymore, your career
interests have changed, or you just don't relate as deeply
to your partner anymore...
This is all
completely normal, yet as humans, we tend to pathologize change.
We become neurotic
and fearful about it because we desperately want to control life
to give us a sense of comfort and security.
But the truth is
that change is inevitable - resistance is futile...!
When you aren't
willing to upgrade or change your life, even when you've
outgrown it long ago, you feel suffocated.
Just imagine how
uncomfortable it would be squeezing yourself into the clothes
you wore ten or twenty years ago!
Yes, you might feel
comforted in some small way... but is the comfort and
familiarity you feel worth the experience of dying inside?
Remember that it's completely normal to not want
to let go, so be gentle and
compassionate towards yourself.
It's OK to grow
and change.
It is your
birthright...
3.
You desperately want to fit in and feel "normal"
All of us want to feel like we belong.
In fact, craving to
"fit in" with others is deeply embedded into our DNA:
it's a biological
survival mechanism.
But we've come a long
way in our evolution, and the proof is that the more we force
ourselves to be "normal," the more we suffer.
Evolution, or
rather involution, is now calling us to honor our
authentic needs in order to grow as a species.
Conformity is an old paradigm we no longer need to chase after.
In fact,
The more we
conform, the more empty we feel inside.
The more we try
to be like others, the more we lose contact with our inner
voice.
The more we mold
our lives to be "socially acceptable," the more we sacrifice
our inner values, dreams, beliefs, and desires.
Trying to fit in with
others because we fear what they think about us, is a recipe for
suffering.
Understand that
wanting to be accepted is completely normal, but it's time that
you start looking inside of yourself for approval, rather than
outside.
4.
You've taken on too many responsibilities
Responsibilities are a normal part of life:
they teach us to
be mature, accountable, patient, and empathetic.
But there can come a
point in our lives when we take on more responsibilities than we
can handle... and we start to feel TRAPPED...
Why?
Usually, we fill
our lives with pointless or excessive commitments because
we're trying to escape from something, whether that is our
pain, our insecurities, our past, our traumas, or some kind
of buried emotion that haunts us like grief, emptiness, or
anger.
If you're feeling
trapped, closely examine your life.
Have you bitten
off more than you can chew?
Why?
And furthermore,
what can you do to decrease your workload?
5. Soul
loss and lack of life purpose
Probably the biggest reason why many of us undergo the
excruciating feeling of being trapped is soul loss...
When we have lost contact
with our souls we feel the
unshakable sense that 'something is missing' from our lives.
This feeling is accompanied by,
loneliness,
emotional numbness, emptiness, restlessness, irritability,
and of course, anxiety and depression.
Soul loss
occurs for many reasons such as a traumatic life experience or
simply situations where we've had to consistently shape
ourselves into who others want us to be (causing us to feel
repressed and withered inside).
The ego is our false self, the
concept of "me" that we have inside of our brains which is based
on stories about the past or future.
The more we serve our ego and its desires, the more empty and
unfulfilled we feel because the ego is obsessed with power,
control, and self-gratification - something that is ultimately
unfulfilling.
Our soul, on the other hand, is focused on love and unity:
on learning how
to love, behaving from a place of love, speaking with love,
and ultimately, embodying love as our True Nature.
When we are in
contact with our souls, we discover our unique life purpose
which helps us to stop feeling trapped by our circumstances.
We start to feel
empowered and begin to listen to the voice of the heart rather
than the voice of the mind.
Feeling trapped, therefore, is often a sign that you're
undergoing not just a loss of soul connection and therefore lack
of life purpose, but you're starting to "wake
up" on a deeper level.
You're beginning the
spiritual awakening process where you sense that there's much
more to life than meets the eye.
How to Stop
Feeling Trapped - 9 Paths
Feeling trapped can be a self-perpetuating cycle:
we begin to look for
more and more proof to confirm our belief that we are victims.
And that feeling of
self-victimization fuels the feelings of being trapped.
Can you see how
powerful the mind, and the hidden inner parts of the psyche, can
be here?
For example, we might try
to stop feeling trapped, but then, our inner saboteur
might do something that causes us to fall back into that feeling
again.
As a result, we confirm
the belief that we're trapped, thus becoming a self-fulfilling
prophecy.
So be careful. Understand that feeling trapped can actually
be a very addictive role because it makes us feel like a victim
- and the ego loves feeling like a victim.
Ironically, feeling like a victim is actually very empowering
because this role revolves around blaming, justifying, and making
excuses - and all of these behaviors deflect self-responsibility.
With that in mind, let's explore some methods which can help you to
stop feeling trapped:
1. Take
responsibility for your life
As I just mentioned, feeling trapped can cause us to adopt the
victim role which revolves around avoiding self-responsibility.
It's normal to feel
sad about your situation, but self-pity ultimately gets you
nowhere.
In order to feel better, you need to take responsibility for
your life, which means deciding to create change from a
conscious and intentional place.
Realize that
happiness is what happens when you step up and claim ownership
of your life.
2. Make
little changes each day
Do something new each day.
Approaching your life
differently little by little will help you to regain faith in
your own power.
Even if you're in a
really tight, oppressive, and constricting situation where it
feels like there's no escape, what one little thing can you do
to regain a sense of self-sovereignty each day?
For example, maybe you decide to take a new route to the shops
or set the habit of researching one new way to become
financially independent each day.
No matter how small
and seemingly inconsequential the change is, do it.
Commit to it with
religious fervor.
If no one is coming
on their white horse to save you, you need to find a way to save
and free yourself.
3. Make a
bullsh*t list
Sit down and think about all the things in your life that you
believe are limiting you.
For example, on your bullsh*t list you might write things like:
-
going to after
work parties with colleagues that I secretly dislike
-
commitments with
old friends who I have nothing in common with
-
pretending to
like what my partner likes
-
"mandatory"
luncheons with extended family members who are toxic
-
being passed over
at work for promotions and taken for granted
-
being interrupted
in conversations
-
not dividing the
household chores equally with my partner
By becoming very
clear about what is making you unhappy, you'll find it easier to
escape the cage that has been built around your life by stepping
up and saying "no, this isn't acceptable."
4. Throw
away social norms
Trying to be socially acceptable wastes so much time, energy,
and money.
Try to keep only
what is essential in your life. If you have to step on a few
toes, so be it!
If you're not pissing someone off, you probably aren't doing
anything meaningful with your life!
No matter what we do,
we'll always have naysayers.
Be courageous and do
what makes you happy, even if that means cutting some people off
or accepting that you'll be thought of as "weird" or "crazy."
Those that do not
support you tend to hang around you like dead weight, so throw
social norms to the wind, and let it go.
5. Create
energy barriers
Are you over-extending yourself and getting bogged down by too
many commitments?
Learn how to notice
your energy levels and step away when you're getting too
overwhelmed.
Ask yourself
questions such as:
-
Where in life am
I giving more than getting? Is it really worth it?
-
Who or what is an
energy vampire, draining my vital life force energy?
-
What kind of
energy barriers do I need to set up in my relationships and
work life?
-
How much time am
I really ready to dedicate to _____ ?
Draw a line and don't
let anyone cross it, not even yourself.
6. Say "no
thank you"
There is nothing wrong or impolite about saying "no thank you"
or "thank you for thinking of me, but I can't."
Yes, you may offend a
few insecure people, but most people will respect your
assertiveness and self-respect. You have the right to say no to
doing things you're not interested in or don't believe in.
So don't let "yes"
become a cage that entraps you.
7. Embrace
fear of the unknown
One reason why we remain stuck in feeling trapped is that we're
scared of the unknown, i.e.,
What will our
lives look like if we make a leap into drastic change?
How will we deal
with all of the intimidating newness in our lives?
Remember that it's
normal to fear the unknown:
we are wired to
be that way...
The
reptilian fight-or-flight and mammalian
hunter-gatherer brain within us is always scanning
the environment for threat - that's just part of being human.
But we also have the prefrontal cortex or the thinking brain
that needs challenge to thrive and feel alive.
So take care of all
three parts of your brain by going slowly (what your reptilian
brain needs), comforting yourself and reaching out to others for
advice (what your mammalian brain needs), and making plans and
goals (what your prefrontal cortex needs).
Embrace the fear of
the unknown, and go ahead anyway.
8. Take a
plant medicine
Obviously there is a disclaimer here:
plant medicine is
best taken with an experienced
shaman or healer and you
should seek professional advice if you suffer from mental
illness (and abide by local laws, etc. etc.).
But going through
such an experience can quite literally change your entire
perspective of life.
Try to locate experienced and trustworthy practitioners who hold
San Pedro, Peyote, Ayahuasca, or Psilocybin Mushrooms ceremonies
either in your country or one nearby (if traveling is accessible
to you).
Even small quantities
of marijuana which is now legalized in many countries, can be
tremendously healing when done meditatively and intentionally.
Taking plant medicine is a
sacred and profound experience which can help you develop new
perspectives on your life, and even significantly reduce mental
illnesses such as depression and anxiety.
I always recommend
trying a very small amount first, with someone you trust.
9.
Reconnect with your soul
Plant medicine is one powerful and foolproof way of reconnecting
with your soul.
However, if you
prefer other methods, you might like to explore various soul
work practices such as,
vision quests,
journaling, spiritual meditation, mindfulness exercises,
catharsis, artistic self-expression, music,
...and other
alternative forms of medicine that can help awaken this deep
presence within you.
My favorite ways of soul searching involve using art, music, and
creative written expression to connect with my deeper essence and
meaning of life.
I recommend that you
choose one practice that you feel drawn toward, and stick with it
for at least two months (the time a new habit takes to form).
Here are some guides I've written surrounding the soul which may be
of help:
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