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by Mateo Sol
September 20, 2017
from
LonerWolf Website
Italian version
A man can
be himself
only so long as
he is alone;
and if he does
not love solitude,
he will not love
freedom;
for it is only
when he is alone
that he is
really free.
A. Schopenhauer
There are supposedly two main characteristics that have helped us
stand out in our evolutionary journey:
Many people attribute our
social instinct as one of the main reasons for our survival in an
environment full of dangerous threats.
Of course, there were a
few lone wolves here and there who managed to survive on
their own, but the majority felt comfort in being part of a larger
social structure.
Within the last century or so, with the discoveries of science and
the development of technology, something unique has begun to occur.
Mass fabrication has
become possible, and due to the massive developments in media
advertising and the discovery of our sense of identity (also
known as
the Ego), mass consumerism has been
born.
Suddenly we're informed that we all have the opportunity to be
unique, to stand out from everyone else in the way we dress, the
cars we drive and the houses we live in.
Consumerism has provided
a way of expressing our individuality, with more and more inventions
coming out that promise us a happier life and lifestyle.
As a stronger sense of self has emerged within us, so too has a
greater desire for self-fulfillment.
We live in a time where
we crave self-fulfillment as unique individuals. This is evident
from the large numbers of psychologists, gurus and
life coaches readily available to us at a click of a button.
However, the more we
adopt the solutions provided to us by society of consumption and
ambition, the further away we find ourselves from
inner-fulfillment at all...
Often we get lost in our search for answers in the external world
and we forget that most of the answers can be found internally - if
we provide the space for them to manifest themselves.
Now that our sense of self has become so strong, it has made itself
more available to allow for its own evolution, or
Involution, and personal growth.
I believe we are at
the beginning of an evolution of the self that will require
immense Solitude to aid it.
It's a great time for us to live in, and to begin our acceptance of
Solitude now will make it a lot easier to be who we are
destined to become in the future.
These are seven lessons you can learn when you find the space for
Solitude:
1.
Solitude Centers You
How often do you feel that life is living you, rather than you
are living life?
In the fast paced
society that we live in, we often feel that our lives are
controlled by the schedules, commitments and demands in our
daily routines.
In conversations with others we touch on the surface of many
different topics without allowing ourselves to be completely
absorbed by any single one of them.
Solitude provides a
strong center, an inner core, that makes your attention feel
centered rather than dragged around by different social or
environmental stimulations.
2. Solitude
Connects You With Yourself
Stimulation in our technological age is everywhere, and it's all
too easy to spend a few hours drifting from page to page on
Reddit or YouTube, playing games on your phone or
watching endless amount of television.
The truth is:
technology
disconnect you from yourself...
However, technology
is not to blame, but rather our poor use of it.
It captures our short
attention spans and distracts us from true deep effort and work
within ourselves.
Social media also gives us a
superficial sense of socializing, which is the true deep and
multi-dimensional friendship equivalent to masturbation,
compared with sex.
3. Solitude Makes
You Authentic
It's surprising and shocking when you become aware of all the
ways in which other people influence the person you are.
I have asked many
people why they chose the jobs they did, or the places they live
in and many told me they did so because of their friends or
family.
It's easy to get a job in a place where your friends work or go
live where your family members live, but sometimes those
decisions aren't authentic to who you're meant to be.
The easily available
options in our lives are not necessarily the truest to
ourselves. We often get so consumed by listening to and watching
others, that we forget to listen to ourselves.
How many people live in the city they were born in, work in the
first field they decided to study, and have the same friends
that they had in high school?
I'm certain that
these decisions we made because they were easy, or obvious at
some point in life.
Solitude helps you to
listen to yourself, and your own needs.
4. Solitude
Creates Space to Grow
We are all interconnected in many ways, but sometimes we need to
find the space to allow ourselves to grow.
Many of us have
responsibilities as friends, partners, parents or sons and
daughters, but these responsibilities can limit you. Fitting
into the expectations that the people around you have makes you
less capable of truly finding out where your limits are.
Social dynamics
require a lot of energy and focus, and to truly grow and evolve
you will need to use that intensity of energy and focus to push
yourself towards new boundaries.
5. Solitude
Inspires Creativity
Most of the greatest artistic works and inspired inventions have
come in the midst of solitude.
Solitude works as a
catalyst providing the necessary time, space, intensity of focus
and energy that is required to bring anything to life.
Without any external distractions, Solitude allows you to dig
deep into your thoughts, your sense of beauty, and observe that
which is true within you.
6. Solitude Makes
You Better Company
As you begin to discover more about yourself in Solitude, you
begin to find new interests and passions.
It is through the
cultivation of these interests that you become an interesting
person.
When you spend time alone you find the passion and space to
pursue unusual fields of knowledge and in doing so you
accumulate information that is worth sharing.
I've observed that in some circles of friends, they repeat the
same facts or jokes because they all spend so much time around
each other.
Nobody goes out of
their way to seek interesting hobbies or knowledge and so they
have a limited circular library of information they share
repeatedly.
7. Solitude
Teaches You to Be Alone
Many people associate being alone with feelings of
loneliness, but this is far from the truth.
Whereas loneliness
de-energizes you and is a burden to experience, aloneness
re-energizes your body and mind.
And what about Solitude? Well, Solitude teaches you to be alone
and enjoy your own presence without feeling lonely.
If you're capable of
being comfortable with your own company, this can also greatly
benefit your social life, helping you to stop leeching off
company and depending on other people to banish your feelings of
loneliness.
Instead, Solitude allows you to enjoy their company
unconditionally, being unattached, centered and with no hidden
agendas.
Cultivating the Art
of Solitude
Depending on our temperament, we all need different amounts of
solitude. But solitude these days is absolutely essential.
Solitude creates the space to explore yourself and the opportunity
to become intimate with who you really are. Solitude allows you to
become centered and in control of your life again.
You don't have to become a hermit to enjoy Solitude - even small
moments of Solitude are often enough.
Ways you can incorporate
Solitude into your life include,
Whatever works for
you...!
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