Here's the thing:
you're quiet. You
don't function the same way others do. And that's perfectly
You're an introvert - and you have nothing to be ashamed of.
If you've just discovered the magical and empowering word
"introvert," I want you to know that you're in good company.
Did you know that between 25% to 40% of people are introverts? And
even those people in your life who seem loud and outgoing might be
So the question is that now you've discovered you're an introvert...
What do you do with
As an introvert with a
mission, my job is to help you...
What is an
introvert comes from the Latin intro (to the inside) and
vertere (to turn).
So in essence,
introversion refers to the tendency to turn within; to live a rich
inner life. Psychologically, the word introvert was popularized in
the 1920s by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung.
Jung proposed that there
were two main personality types:
introverts and extroverts...
Everyone has a tendency
to lean toward either side of the spectrum.
These days, an introvert
is understood as a person who is quiet, enjoys spending time alone
or with a couple of close friends, and prefers calm environments.
As I write in my book
If you are an
introvert, you are born with a temperament that craves to be
alone, delights in meaningful connections, thinks before
speaking and observes before approaching.
If you are an
introvert, you thrive in the inner sanctuary of the mind, heart
and spirit, but shrink in the external world of noise, drama and
As an introvert, you
are sensitive, perceptive, gentle and reflective.
You prefer to operate
behind the scenes, preserve your precious energy and influence
the world in a quiet, but powerful way.
You're an Introvert
Here are signs to look out for:
You crave to spend
time alone after a busy day
You find small talk incredibly taxing
You are perceptive and notice things other's miss
You feel overwhelmed in a big crowd of people
You dislike noisy and fast-paced environments
You often need space to think and process
You're an intense person
Your interests and hobbies don't depend on others
If you can avoid a get-together/party, you will
Networking makes you feel uncomfortable
You prefer to take life slowly and steadily
You have a small number of friends
You find people draining
You tend to overthink everything
You possess a high level of self-awareness
You tend to ruminate and obsess
Topics such as science, philosophy, and spirituality interest
You hate being the center of attention
You're a good listener, but struggle to speak your thoughts
How many of these
introvert signs can you relate to?
15 Myths About
We're the creative
Dr. Seuss', the soulful singing
Adeles and the
We constitute a great
percentage of the world's best,
thinkers, philosophers, scientists,
Yet we find ourselves bullied, belittled, and
misdiagnosed as being socially inept and even threatening.
If one of the highest instincts in mankind is self-preservation,
it's no wonder that many people fear what they don't understand:
Here are the top 15 myths
about introverts summarized:
Myth 1 - Introverts
Myth 2 - Introverts are rude (they're surly and ill-mannered)
Myth 3 - Introverts always want to be alone
Myth 4 - Introverts don't like to go out (they're agoraphobic)
Myth 5 - Introverts have no friends (they're losers)
Myth 6 - Introverts are depressive people
Myth 7 - Introverts are weirdos
Myth 8 - Introverts hate people (they're misanthropes)
Myth 9 - Introverts don't like to talk (they have nothing to
Myth 10 - Introverts are uptight party-poopers (they can't have
Myth 11 - Introverts are mentally inept (they're stupid)
Myth 12 - Introverts are sneaky (they're sly and devious)
Myth 13 - Introverts are shy
Myth 14 - Introverts have low self-esteem
Myth 15 - Introversion is an affliction that can be fixed
Read more about these
Myth #1: Introverts are arrogant
Truth: We're socially cautious
It's true that introverts can come across as being cold or
aloof, but this is because we're preoccupied with thinking and
processing information internally.
We also like to keep to
ourselves around people who aren't close to us and take great
precautions in uncharted territory.
This makes us appear
standoffish, for sure, but our silence isn't snobbish
self-aggrandizement. If we don't interact with you much, it
isn't because we dislike or think we're too good for you.
It just means that
we're still cautious of you or simply want to keep to ourselves.
Myth #2: Introverts are rude (they're surly and ill-mannered)
We can be blunt, and appear slightly bored and impatient at
times, but this is because small talk disinterests us. We prefer
intimate and meaningful conversations.
We also become
physically drained easily if we're around too many people for
This can make us appear not only rude but avoidant as
well, especially if we've been invited to parties and social
functions that we turn down. This is simply a quirk of our
We rarely intend to
be deliberately rude.
Myth #3: Introverts always want to be alone
Truth: We're easily drained
Being an introvert is not the same as
being a lone wolf. (And even if
it is, what's wrong with being a loner anyway?) The truth is
that the majority of introverts don't like to always be alone.
Frequently, we have
one or two close friends we like to spend time with - but at
certain times and levels. Although we value and thrive in 'alone
time,' we value small doses of social time as well.
Myth #4: Introverts don't like to go out (they're agoraphobic)
Truth: We're internally stimulated
Although we like to spend a lot of time indoors, we don't suffer
from a collective mental illness. We find our stimulation inside
of ourselves - with our thoughts and our own hobbies.
This means that we
don't need to "go out" all that often, as we already have what
we need to thrive.
Introverts also value the comfort, safety,
and privacy of their own personal environments, which may lead
us to stay indoors more than other people.
We usually don't mind
going out - but it just isn't necessary for us.
Introverts have no friends (they're losers)
Truth: We're intimately selective
It's true, we struggle to make friends in many cases. But this
is because we selectively pick people who we think would make
worthy long-term companions.
Many introverts have
one or two friends to confide in, but the fact that we take a
while to open up to people means that it's difficult at first
for us to make friends.
This is why many
introverted children and teenagers find themselves friendless in
school. It doesn't mean they exclusively always like to be alone
without any companions.
Introverts are depressive people
Truth: We're quietly complacent
Just like depressive people, introverts can come across as being
quiet and detached. The essential difference between depressed
people and introversion is that introverts are complacent in
their quietness, whereas depressive people are dissatisfied with
Yes, there is such a
thing as a depressed introvert, but the majority of introverts
are quietly content in their world.
They aren't in
constant conflict with themselves and the universe, although
they do occasionally face issues, they aren't trapped in them,
as depressive people are.
Introverts are weirdos
Truth: We embrace eccentricity
It's unfortunate that, out of fear, many people make sweeping
generalizations about the nature of introverts. Being a twisted
lunatic is just another of them.
True, we may do
things differently and have unconventional quirks that deviate
from the popular norm, but we aren't dangerous or completely
Introverts feed on their own inner world and mind, not
other people's. This tendency to
go/live within makes the introvert's behavior at times odd, and
other times unique.
Perhaps this was how
the world made it's greatest progress:
through its introverted
scientists and thinkers and their individual eccentricities
which didn't recycle the same repeated ideas.
Introverts hate people (they're misanthropes)
Truth: We value people
As quiet, thoughtful, and occasionally skeptical people,
introverts can come across as being people-haters.
Of course, it
can't be said that 100% of introverts value people, but a vast
majority of them do. Besides, not liking
being around people does not equate to not liking people
Introverts just value calmness and people in small
doses, which is why they can come across as being brusque and
short-tempered in hyper-active people-populated environments.
Myth #9 :
Introverts don't like to talk (they have nothing to say)
Truth: We speak selectively
While some people spit out anything that comes to mind,
introverts prefer to quietly hang by the fringes. They prefer to
think before speaking, and closely listen to what is being said
If too many people
are present, introverts usually have a hard time getting any
word in, so decide to remain silent instead.
There's no point
voicing a well-thought-out opinion if it will fall on deaf ears.
As a result, introverts are usually labeled falsely as people
who don't like to speak or who have nothing to say.
The truth is, we just
Introverts are uptight party-poopers (they can't have fun)
Truth: We're uniquely fun.
Introverts make their own fun and tailor it to suit themselves
and their own unique needs. Sure, we may not like to participate
in drunken karaoke or sip piña coladas in elite social clubs.
But we have fun in
different ways - like book clubs, making gnomes in pottery
classes, and designing our own web-comics.
Sure, we may come
across as being uptight and uncomfortable in socially "fun" and
overwhelming situations, but this isn't because we're
We just prefer to
have fun in different ways.
Introverts are mentally inept (they're stupid)
Truth: We're insightfully intelligent
Many people falsely assume that introverts are unintelligent
because, one, they don't frequently voice their ideas and
thoughts, and two, they're too quiet.
The fact is, if
people just stopped to listen and observe, they would see that
the introvert has a fountain of useful knowledge and
well-constructed thoughts to contribute.
Quietness does not
equal stupidity, neither does loudness equal intelligence.
Introverts are sneaky (they're sly and devious)
Truth: We value solitude
This is one of the more bizarre myths about introverts out
there. Some people assume that because introverts go off by
themselves a lot, they have something to hide.
Many people also
become suspicious of introverts, especially when they share so
little of themselves to the world. The truth is, introverts
aren't evil or sneaky.
Perhaps some possess
these traits, but most introverts simply need alone-time to
re-cooperate and revitalize - not build bombs or swindle people.
Introverts are shy
Truth: We are reserved
It's true that many shy people are introverted.
Yet not all
introverts are shy - they're just reserved, or in other words,
they like to keep to themselves and not involve themselves in
the affairs of other people too much.
between shyness and introversion is that shy people are scared
of social contact, introverts aren't. They just prefer to avoid
it in large quantities.
Introverts have low self-esteem
Truth: We are sensitive but strong
Of course, low self-esteem is common to many people, and
introverts are no exception. But most importantly, introversion
is not defined by possessing low self-esteem.
and ambiverts have low self-esteem. The point is, by
default, introverts don't suffer poor self-esteem.
and detached from other people at times is not an instant marker
of self-hatred or poor self-confidence.
Introversion is an affliction that can be fixed
Truth: Introversion isn't curable, nor is it an affliction
If introversion is a deeply embedded personality temperament
mostly determined by genetics, then it can't be "cured."
also false to assume that introversion is some kind of curse
that should be fixed. Certainly, being
introverted has many downfalls (including all the false myths
described in this article), but it also has many perks and
In many ways, it's actually a gift.
Self-Growth, and Spirituality
Introversion and spirituality is a topic that is rarely covered.
Yet when we consider the
origins of the word introvert (from introvertere meaning to turn
within), we find an intriguing correlation between this personality
type and a thirst for self-growth.
Lexico, the word introvert was first recorded in the
17th century and came to mean to,
"turn one's thoughts
inwards (in spiritual contemplation)."
How intriguing is that?
The concept of introversion was first connected to spiritual
And indeed, we notice that many figures throughout spirituality are
introverted such as Gautama Buddha, Moses, Lao Tzu - and pretty much
any mystic or sage you can think of share this trait.
How many loud, outgoing, and gregarious spiritual figures can you
think of? I'm sure there are a few (such as the Dalai Llama).
most are on the quiet and reclusive end.
introverts incline so deeply toward spirituality and
The answer is that they have an innate knack for it.
introvert's energy is already turned inwards, it's not that
great a leap to enter the spiritual path.
Indeed, at some point or another, many introverts undergo what
is known as a
spiritual awakening process.
And to some extent,
nearly all introverts are fascinated by the question,
"What is the
meaning of life?"
This deep question
(that requires a lot of inward-looking!) naturally expands to
all aspects of life.
Some introverts, for example, gradually discover that they're
old souls, while others discover great meaning and
purpose in their spiritual gifts.
Others keep searching
and eventually use their introversion to fuel mystical
experiences, moments of Oneness, or self-realization.
The path of
When we're talking about introverts, self-growth, and
spirituality, probably one of the most suited paths is that of
Involution is a philosophy of life - it means consciously
committing to internal transformation. (How perfectly suited to
introversion does this sound...?!)
There are seven paths of Involution that you can explore. Each
one builds upon the other and helps you to grow as a person, on
article to learn more about this fascinating, transformational
path if you're an introvert who's interested in spiritual
What do Michelle Pfeifer, Julia Roberts, David Letterman, and Clint
Eastwood have in common?
They're all extroverted-introverts. And
it's an increasing phenomenon...
Thanks to the Western world's favoritism of extroverts, we
introverts increasingly find ourselves needing to be chameleons and
adapt to our surroundings.
But while there are benefits to temporarily tapping into your inner
extrovert, we need to be careful of our energy levels. Adopting the
extroverted-introvert guise can, unfortunately, lead to burnout,
anxiety, and sometimes even depression.
Here are some signs that you're a struggling extroverted-introvert:
You feel the need to
live up to an identity you have created every time you go out.
You are afraid that if anyone truly saw the "real you" they
wouldn't accept or like you.
You feel somewhat like a fraud.
You feel chronically tense and anxious.
You feel exhausted and completely drained at the end of the day.
You have poor immunity to sickness.
You reject and/or ridicule your naturally quiet self and wish
you could be "different" or like "everyone else."
You feel as though every interaction with others takes a lot of
You feel attached to the identity/mask/image you have created
because you feel protected from others.
As I mentioned before,
tapping into your extroverted self is not necessarily a detrimental
or bad thing to do.
Many times exuding energy is needed or
necessary. However, when we are motivated by fear, anxiety or
self-esteem, our masks can be destructive to our well-being.
If you have adopted an extroverted facade out of fear, anxiety or
low self-esteem, you might benefit from asking the following
Write down your responses on a piece of paper or digital
document, and assess your thoughts and feelings.
This is an excellent way
to better understand yourself, and change your actions from
instinctual and unconsciously driven, to consciously driven:
Why do I adopt this
What insecurities and issues do I have that cause me to react
with an extroverted mask? (Perhaps the issue is low self-worth,
lack of trust in my abilities, excessive anxiety, inability to
cope with others, etc.)
What can I do about my insecurities and issues?
If I feel the need to be liked, why?
How can I practice more self-love and self-care?
When do I put the mask on? Why?
How can I cope with this situation differently?
Why do other people's opinions of me matter anyway?
What's the worst that could happen if I drop my mask?
How can I excel without adopting this role?
I hope these questions
The more self-awareness you develop, the more you will be able
to accept the person you are with open arms - and shape your life
There Are 4
Types of Introverts
Not all introverts are the same.
When you ask people what being an introvert means to them, their
answers always vary.
While some will tell you that it's being a
dreamer or sensitive person, others will tell you that its a person
who loves solitude due to anxiety in social situations.
While Carl Jung did a great job of creating the
Introvert-Extrovert spectrum, he didn't provide any different types
within the introvert category.
Big Five Personality Test tried
to remedy this by labeling those who scored low on "Enthusiasm" and
"Assertiveness" as introverts. But we all know that this
is a very limited understanding of introversion and far from the
In Jennifer Odessa Grime's
master thesis, she created four different
meanings of introversion:
Thinking, Anxious, and Restrained
introverts... forming the acronym 'STAR.'
We have built on this
STAR model by creating four different introvert archetypes below.
See which one of these
four introvert archetypes you resonate with the most:
1. The Gardener
If you're a Gardener introvert, you're a person who doesn't mind
socializing as long as it's with a small group of friends. In
fact, sometimes you need to socialize, as long as you get long
periods of time alone to recharge.
You aren't intimidated by social events and you know the value
of making time for yourself.
You prefer to pursue
your own interests and passions in-between the company of one or
You like to create quality intimate connections with
a select few people - large groups are too overwhelming and
stimulating for you.
You are "The Gardener" because:
you selectively pick people and
social situations in your life, weeding out people, where
necessary, in exchange for the fruits of intimacy with yourself
or a close friend.
Protector (Anxious Introvert)
If you're a Protector introvert, you feel painfully
self-conscious around other people, especially when near
strangers. It takes time for you
to warm up to new people and overcome your shyness.
You are the
kind of person who holds very high expectations of yourself
which tends to cause you a lot of stress.
To you, solitude is attractive because it gives you a break from
other people. But even in solitude you sometimes feel anxious.
This is because you
have a tendency to ruminate and turn over in your mind the
things that might, could, or have already gone terribly wrong.
Your thoughts are often focused on parts of your life that you
wish could have gone differently.
You are "The Protector" because:
you are hyper-vigilant and
desire to protect yourself from embarrassment in social
situations. This is at the root of your shyness.
Dreamer (Thinking Introvert)
If this is your dominant archetype, you are an introspective,
thoughtful, and self-reflective person.
You often get lost in
the whimsical, imaginative, and creative worlds of your mind.
You have a rich, complex inner life, and you often think about
what kind of person you are.
When you read an interesting book or watch a compelling movie,
you might think about how you'd feel and react if you were in
the character's situation.
You are finely tuned
into your feelings, and you often evaluate yourself from a
distance. Daydreaming and fantasizing are habits that come to
define a lot of your life.
You are "The Dreamer" because:
you are lost in your own inner
world of fantasy and reflection most of the time.
Architect (Restrained Introvert)
If you're an Architect introvert you like to take things slowly.
You're not one to be
"up and ready" right away when you wake up in the morning.
find it difficult to be impulsive and spontaneous as you like to
take your time doing things and hate pressure.
You're a deliberate and cautious person, and you like to think
things through before you act or speak. Forethought is one of
the greatest qualities you value in yourself.
Haruki Murakami is a perfect example of
He writes in one of
"When I put on my
jogging shoes in the morning and set out, my feet are so
heavy it feels like I'll never get them moving."
You are "The
you take your time to construct your actions
and words in a world that values fast-paced living.
Introverts live in a rich
If you’re an introvert, be proud of who you are, honor
your energy levels, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries (but also
reach out when necessary).
As a person who tends to
look within a lot, you are blessed with the ability to think
creatively, develop analytical prowess, as well as delve into the
world of spirituality (if you so desire)...