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by
Aletheia Luna
December 16,
2021
from
LonerWolf Website
An
outsider
is a person who
quite simply
does not fit in
with
existence-as-we-know-it...
Such a person is a fringe dweller,
a black sheep, a social oddball,
and a displaced alien endlessly coexisting in a society that doesn't
feel like home.
On this website, we refer to the outsider as the "lone
wolf" who walks through life with a feeling of inner
disconnection from the wider "norms" of society.
This bone-deep isolation often gives birth to the search for
freedom, acceptance, and a true place to call home.
Chances are that if you've read this far, you can probably relate to
feeling like an outsider looking in - and never quite finding that
elusive sense of "belonging somewhere."
Fear not! There's a reason why you feel this way, and it's not
because there's something defective or "wrong" with you.
In fact, despite what you may feel about yourself, others, and the
world, being an outsider looking in is actually a huge advantage.
I'll explain to you why.
Why Do I Feel
Like an Outsider Looking In?
"Why do I feel like
an outsider looking in?"
I've asked myself this
question ever since I was about 6 years old.
For me, the sensation of being an outsider was triggered by painful
shyness and my unconventional upbringing (aka. being raised by
fundamentalist Christian parents).
In fact, I was practically hand-fed since birth with the idea that I
was an "alien on this earth," and that Jesus could come back at any
time and take me to my "true home" in heaven. (Yep... enough said.)
Yet the feeling of being an outsider runs much deeper than religious
brainwashing or being classed as one of the "unpopular kids" in
school.
To me, this feeling of being an outsider looking in is something
intrinsic, subterranean, and seemingly fundamental to my experience
of being a human.
And I know that you feel it too...
...otherwise, why
would you be reading this article?
Perhaps you've also
carried this unshakable feeling within you; that of being a nomad
and wanderer in life. No matter how close you get to others, that
feeling of being an outsider is always looming in the background:
it's present in your interactions with people, your observations,
dreams, desires, and motivations - and it awaits you at the
beginning and end of your day.
I think you know what I mean. (And it's this very feeling that, in
truth, has motivated me to write everything I've ever written.)
But why do we feel this way?
I've done a lot of soul searching when it has come to this question.
What I've discovered is that obviously there are many possible
reasons for feeling like an outsider.
But the most significant reason I've found to date is all to do with
the soul - that inner spark of divinity within us.
We're all born
with a soul but not all of us
continue to maintain this deep inner connection as we grow older.
Shamanic cultures call this disconnection soul loss. But that inner
knowing that something is missing or askew is called a
spiritual awakening.
As such, those of us who feel like outsiders quite simply are
'awake' to something others in society aren't.
Outsiders and
the Existential Crisis
Put simply, at the core of feeling like an outsider looking in is
the sense that something is not quite right.
We feel that we don't
belong because we can't relate to the people or environments around
us.
The end result of feeling this lack of belonging is that we don't
feel truly seen or heard (or we don't feel safe enough to let
ourselves be seen or heard).
And we don't feel seen or heard because those people and situations
don't meet a deep soul need within us.
Why?
Because these people
and situations lack substance - aka everything feels very
surface-level and unsatisfactory.
To borrow Buddhist
terminology, we sense on an intuitive gut level that the world we're
living in is full of Dukkha (suffering), and the feeling that
something is missing doesn't quite leave us.
Such an unnerving feeling that the world doesn't match up to our
deeper soul needs gives rise to a kind of existential crisis. For
some people, this existential crisis may be a consistent hum in the
background, and for others, such feelings may evolve into a kind of
dark existential depression.
But one thing is almost guaranteed. Feeling like an outsider looking
in often leads to a spiritual
awakening in which one goes in
search of deeper answers.
If you've felt like an outsider for most of your life, you are
almost certainly a highly sensitive and spiritually receptive
person.
You have experienced
firsthand how isolating
the ego can be.
You know how
unnatural it is to live in a society that is obsessed with fame,
status, money, and power.
You know how
superficial, senseless, and insane living an ego-centered life
is.
But you can't quite
verbalize this.
You can't quite
understand what you're going through because you're inundated with
feelings of being,
"strange," "weird,"
"different," and "unworthy"..
You long for a home that
you've never even experienced; a place to feel completely
understood, loved, and cherished.
That place is your
soul.
It is your soul -
your True Nature - that seeks
to experience itself again.
In other words, deep
down, what you're really craving for is home.
Why Being an
Outsider is a Spiritual Path
Although it can be lonely feeling like a social outsider, I'm here
to remind you that there is a lot of power and potential in this
sacred path.
Yes, you heard me correctly.
Being an outsider is a path in and of itself - it requires you to
trail-blaze a new direction that hasn't been walked before. Where
that path leads is entirely up to your soul.
In reality, feeling like an outsider is a crucial motivator for
starting the spiritual journey.
What else would
motivate you to search for your true home and sense of
belonging?
The very fact that you
feel like an outsider indicates that your soul is trying to guide
you towards true love, understanding, and freedom (i.e., home).
Almost every person I've spoken to on the spiritual path has
identified with this feeling of being an outsider looking into a
world that doesn't feel like home.
All of these people have expressed a level of soulful sensitivity
that surpasses the average person. In other words, these people saw
beyond the pretensions of others, the rat race of daily living and
felt like there was much more to life than meets the eye.
Instead of unquestionably accepting what they had been taught, these
outsiders were inquisitive and curious freethinkers.
Unfortunately, we're often taught that being an outsider is a "bad"
thing, and no wonder - biologically we're made to stay within the
safe confines of our species' groups.
But there comes a moment in life when we realize that "playing by
the book" is a miserable and unfulfilling absurdity.
(Just look at all those
people who followed the rules, got a good career, wife, children,
solid salary, socially-approved status... and ended up miserable,
empty, lonely, killing themselves, or dying prematurely due to
stress-related illnesses. I'm sure you know one, or a dozen of
them.)
So while being an outsider may seem isolating, it is actually
profoundly beneficial for your life. I wish everyone had the
opportunity to feel like an outsider because being an outsider is a
catalyst for self-fulfillment, self-mastery, and self-realization.
If you have ever read the archetypal story of
The Hero's Journey from
Joseph Campbell (that is repeated in every culture, time, and
period), you'll realize that being an outsider is actually necessary
for finding your true purpose and
meaning of life.
So the very fact that you feel like an outsider is actually a good
sign: you're on the right path!
The 9 Hidden
Powers of Social Outsiders
It's important that we learn to think of being
a lone wolf or free spirit as a
good thing.
Many indigenous cultures, such as those in Africa and Australia,
actually encourage the younger members to go out alone in the
wilderness to find themselves as a rite of passage.
Without accepting that isolation and feeling alone is part of
experiencing true connectedness, we get lost very easily.
We start believing
everything is wrong with us, when in fact, we are simply being
driven to pursue something of more depth and spiritual
significance.
If you're receptive to
your soul, it is only natural that you'll feel displaced in this
world. But that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Here are the nine major
benefits of being an outsider:
-
You're no longer
brainwashed and constrained by the rules and beliefs of
society as you can easily see through them.
-
You have more
freedom to listen to the voice of intuition within yourself
- and this will guide your entire life.
-
You have enough
solitude to discover what being true to yourself means in a
society that is always trying to undermine your
authenticity.
-
You can see the
bigger picture and not get lost in the details.
-
You can connect
with your soul more easily than others.
-
You have been
given the space and room to grow in whatever way you like
and be a free spirit.
-
You have the
opportunity to experience greater connection by finding a
like-minded group of people or a soul family.
-
Your ability to
observe others gives you a greater capacity for wisdom and
also compassion.
-
You have the
necessary catalyst to experience true self-fulfillment and
spiritual ascension should you choose that path.
Although being an
outsider can be terribly lonely, it is a privileged position.
Leaving the herd of humanity allows you to flourish and blossom in
ways you never could experience while being "normal" and socially
"acceptable."
To end, let me leave you with a profound quote from spiritual
teacher Eckhart Tolle to contemplate:
Being an outsider, to
some extent... makes life difficult, but it also places you at
an advantage as far as enlightenment is concerned.
It takes you out of
unconsciousness almost by force.
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